Empath (The Secret Hotel #1)

Chapter Nineteen

His voice was so low, so quiet, when he asked, "Are you scared?"

I buried my face in his shoulder. The worn flannel was even soft against my cheek, like a shirt he'd owned for years and years. My fingers curled into the material. "Yes. No. I don't know. I thought it was going to take you, and I'm just so glad it didn't."

"I'm glad, too. The voices were so loud when I was next to it...and even if it sounded almost like they were speaking strange languages, I could still understand them, and then my body didn't feel like it was mine anymore—" His fingers dug into me. "I don't mean...my body, obviously."

I pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes, arms still around him. "But you fought it."

"It was hard." His unfocused gaze had drifted downward, to all the places where we touched. "It didn't make sense to fight it. Didn't make sense to not...obey."

I got caught in a shiver. My fingers tightened around his shirt. He hadn't been Sky, and it really had scared me. But now, this was him again, and I was so glad, so grateful. "Then you did all the better by fighting it."

A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he guided my hair behind my shoulder. "Hey, you did an okay job too, okay? Don't give me all the credit."

I made a face and hid it in his shoulder again. I didn't want any credit unless it was true, and I didn't know if what he said was the truth. I just cared that he was still here, that everyone was still here.

"Just don't do that again," I said. It wasn't even his fault, and I knew he couldn't help it, and I was so dumb, but there I was, still clinging to him. "You need to rest."

He chuckled, and then I felt his lips against the side of my face. "So do you."

"I am resting." I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I was never ready to say goodbye.

"Then rest." His mouth moved down my jaw to my neck. Suddenly we were dropping to the ground, surrounded by firefly stars, with him on top of me. I quivered and frowned at nothing, even if I was very much making that face for him and he couldn't see it.

My hands surrounded his face, and brought it back to mine. "This isn't restful."

The blurring of the stars stopped. Instead, each light sharpened. The Milky Way turned vibrant. And so did his eyes, focusing on me and becoming so clear and real and alive as he looked at me. My fingers moved over his cheeks, and I swore I could even feel the faintest brush of stubble on his jaw. He was real here. He was so real.

"I just...want to make sure you're okay," I said. "And taken care of. You were so tired, and..." And I didn't even know why I was rambling like this anymore. My hand curled up in his hair, and my forehead touched his.

At first, the muscles around his mouth tightened. He was thinking about something, but whatever it was, his face relaxed again and his eyes closed. He exhaled, and then settled down beside me. "We're okay," he said. "We're okay."

I wasn't sure if I had said something wrong or not. I didn't think so, but it still took a lot of will power not to apologize. I guessed, maybe, somewhere inside of me, I knew. I knew what he wanted and I knew what I wanted, and they were the same thing.

But I was afraid. And I couldn't do it, couldn't make that step when I knew, eventually, Sky and I would run out of steps to take.

I hesitated, nervous, and then reached out and took his hand. When our fingers twined together, I said, "We're okay."

#

We wouldn't be open for business the next day—Elle and I had made sure everyone would have plenty of time to recover before we'd left on Sunday. But just because the Secret Hotel had closed its doors for the day didn't always mean Elle and I would take it easy.