Romeo and Juliet ✨WWE EDITION✨ (Austin Theory x Liv Morgan)

Act 1 Scene 1

Script is simplified from the original  for better understanding

Enter Garza and Humberto, servants to the Capulet Family, holding Swords and Bucklers

Humberto : Garza, I swear we won't put up with their b*llshit

Garza: No cause then we'd be Waste removers

Humberto's: I mean if those bastards make us angry, we'll draw our swords

Garza: Humberto, you should spend your life trying to get yourself out of any trouble that might draw a neck out of collar

Humberto: well I hit hard, when motivated

Garza: But you must avoid getting "motivated," so you don't ever have to hit.

Humberto : one of those disgusting, "Monatgues" would motivate me

Garza: To be motivated is to act, while to be valiant is to face a fight. When you're motivated, you just run away.

Humberto: If I saw a Montague rascal, I'd face him. I'd walk on the side of the street closer to the wall, and so force the Montague into the gutter. 

Garza: Then you must be a weakling, because it's the weak one who gets shoved up against a wall.

Humberto: That's true, which is why women, being the weaker sex, get thrust up against the wall. So I'll push Montague's men into the gutter, and thrust Montague women against the wall

Garza: The feud is between our masters and us, their servants.

Humberto: It's all the same. I'll be the Montague's master. After fighting with the men, I'll be nice to the maids—I'll cut off their heads.

Garza: You'll cut off the heads of the maids?

Humberto: The heads of the maids or their maidenheads. Interpret my comment in whichever sense you prefer.

Garza: It's the maids you rape or kill or who will have to sense it.

Humberto: The maids will feel me as long as I can stand upright. Everyone knows I'm a stud.

Garza: It's a good thing you're not a fish, or else you'd be dried and shriveled like salted hake. Draw your sword! Here come some Montague servants.

Humberto: I've drawn my sword out of its sheath. Fight them! I'll back you up.

Garza: How? By turning your back and running?

Humberto: Don't worry about me.

Garza: No, indeed, I do worry about you.

Humberto: Let's make sure the law is on our side by getting them to start the fight.

Garza: I'll frown at them as I pass by them. How they respond is up to them.

Humberto: No, I'll bite my thumb at them. That's an insult, and they'll be disgraced if they don't react.

Humberto bites his thumb at Damien Priest. Damien notice

Damien: Are you biting your thumb at us, sir?

Humberto: I am biting my thumb.

Damien: But are you biting your thumb at us, sir?

Humberto: (aside to Garza)  Will the law be on our side if I say yes?

Garza: (aside to Humberto) no