An Interference of Portraits

Possibly the Main Problem with The Portraits

'It's confusing, he had a child with Nymphadora. I'm just getting my head around it all.'

'His being a werewolf has absolutely nothing to do with him having a child with Tonks. He can be bi-sexual, life doesn't even need to be that binary. Besides, I'd died by that point, by the hand of my dear cousin.' Sirius pushed his back against the wall, as if squashing Bellatrix's face with his arse. Or perhaps worse when I watch Remus wrinkle his nose.

'Padfoot,' he admonished, 'you know I have a very sensitive nose...'

Walburga looked very disapprovingly at her son.

'You do realise Remus can no longer be classed as a werewolf,' I said. 'Bearing in mind that we've now had a full moon since I hung his portrait up and there's been no sign of a metamorphosis or a bloody rampage.' I raised a disappointed eyebrow at their lack of thought.

There was a look of wonderous realisation on Remus's face but Sirius was glaring at me, 'you knowingly put me in a frame with a werewolf—'

'For god's sake! No, I knowingly put you in a frame with Remus Lupin having researched with the artist first whether that would be safe.'

'Oh,' Sirius said.

'Oh, indeed,' I commented.

'Thank you, Harry,' said Remus softly.

'Oh!' repeated Sirius, then he flung his arms around Remus's neck and kissed him thoroughly and noisily.

'Oh gods, not again,' said Regulus.

'Back to these dance lessons,' said Phineas N.

'Don't you start,' I said. 'I was beginning to think you were the sanest of the lot but I might have second thoughts.'

'Actually,' said Phineas II. 'It would be a good idea. If you feel uncomfortable at these affairs, it can't be helped by the expectations put on your shoulders, especially if the formal dancing is enough to induce anxiety and panic in you. The way to reduce that is to take out the fear. So, if you learn to dance, you don't have to worry.'

'He's speaking sense,' said Remus, disentangling himself from Sirius.

'Did you realise the Drawing Room floor is properly sprung?' said Phineas N.

'What do you mean?' I said at the same time as Sirius said, 'that explains a lot.'

'From the days when we used to have formal dances, that room was used as the ballroom with some clever extension charms. All the furniture was stripped back, we'd have a quartet playing and the most magnificent parties,' said Phineas N. 'The floor was built so it absorbs shocks, giving it a softer feel. Most proper for the occasions.'

'So that's what all the stuff in the ceiling is...' I said, referring to where the dining room ceiling had fallen in, exposing all this engineering between the floorboards of the Drawing Room above. It looked strange and complicated.

'You should try bouncing on it,' said Regie. 'Siri and I used to have competitions to see who could touch the chandelier first. We didn't get close but it was thought that counted.'

Walburga scowled at her sons until Phineas N. said, 'yes, I remember Sirius I, Elladora, and I used to do the same until mother shouted because she was trying to get Iola to sleep and we were all thumping around and jumping off the furniture to try and get some height.'

'You never did, father?' said Phineas II.

'Mhem,' said Phineas N. I think it was the first time I'd seen him smile.

'Harry, the sprung floor is meant to greatly aid dancing, almost make it enjoyable, even though I'm inclined to agree with your standpoint on the matter,' said Eduardus Black, the newest member of the gallery who I'd found hidden in a cupboard behind a Confundus Charm.

After a long discussion, I discovered the Eduardus was a member of the family who was disowned in 1728 because he was classed as a 'Muggle Lover'. Apparently, the tipping point had been his decision to go to sea. His family were not impressed with his sympathy to the plight of any Muggles and after a string of incidents, this was the last straw. I liked Eduardus. He was the gentlest, most softly spoken man I'd ever had the pleasure to meet; a thoughtful man given to introspection. Plus, he had the most fantastically groomed black beard and messy long hair that reminded me of Sirius when I'd first met him. He was painted wearing the most ridiculously large hat and he put me in mind of a pirate with his jewellery and wicked glint in his dark eyes.

'Proper dancing, not this waving around, twirly thing you do when you think no one can see,' said Walburga.

'Why don't you ask Neville to come over and go through some basic steps with you. It will help with your confidence if you know what you're doing,' said Remus. 'How long have you got?'

'Three and a half weeks.'

'Do it, Harry, don't delay either,' Remus persisted.

I sighed. 'Okay, okay, but only because you said, Remus.'

Sirius elbowed his boyfriend.

'Hey!' said Remus.

'I should never have put you two in the same frame,' I muttered, especially when Sirius pulled Remus around by the collar of his tatty jumper and kissed him fully on the lips.

'You always were so persuasive,' said Sirius huskily. 'Sweet Merlin, it turns me on.'

'No...' muttered Regulus.

Phineas N. announced he was going to visit his portrait in the Headmistress's office at Hogwarts as both Regulus and Walburga closed their eyes in exasperation. Eduardus was laughing but I think he was just happy to have company after nearly three hundred years in a dark cupboard.

'Harry, can't you silence them,' said Walburga. 'Surely, with all your great power you could bestow us with that one small, little favour.'

'I'm not sure I can,' I smirked. 'At least I can go to another room though.'

I headed down to the kitchen and thought about the bloody dance lessons over another mug of coffee. Then I Owled Neville before I backed out because Remus was right and he was the only one I knew who could dance and I'd be willing to let try and teach me.

I also sat down with a pad and outlined how the Quidditch Home Nations Championships would work and what we needed to know before we started to progress the idea any further. I also wrote a carefully worded letter to Dai Llewellyn and once Mouse had returned from Neville's (with an awful confirmation and suggestion that he came over later that I tried not to think about), I sent Mouse off to Cardiff with the letter.

It was surprising how quickly I got a returned note that was almost begging for me to come to Wales and meet him. I smiled, sometimes being "Harry Potter" was very useful.

I Floo-called Luna.

'Hello, Harry. Are you alright?' she asked.

'Yeah, sorry to do this, but is Draco around. You gave me your Floo but I don't know how to get hold of him without Owling and I haven't got time.'

'I think he's having breakfast with Lucy and Cissa.'

'Will you pass him a message, please? Tell him I've got a meeting with Dai at 10am and he should definitely come too. He can Floo to me first. I've opened it up to admit him so he can come straight through.'

'That sounds very exciting, Harry. Are you helping Draco with his Quidditch match?'

'Yeah. Just a bit.'

'I think that's a great thing to be doing. And, of course, you'll get to know each other better this way.'

'Thanks, I think. I'm going to get ready. You should come over again. I'll cook for us or something.'

'I'd like that, Harry. I'll let you know when's a good time.'

I decided that I might as well wear my new navy suit, seeing as I'd paid all those galleons for it. I went for a simple white shirt, tan boots and tan belt. No tie because I didn't feel very comfortable like that.

When Draco stepped through the Floo into the Drawing Room, his eyes widened slightly and I hoped it was in a good way. Otherwise his expression didn't give anything away. Not that I was setting out to impress him or anything. He wore much the same as the previous day, and I have to admit, black did suit him. It was comfortably familiar.

***