An Interference of Portraits

The Art of Dressing Well

Eventually, he said, 'no, no. no, this won't do at all.' And he started pulling open long narrow drawers and drawing out various coloured silk handkerchiefs.

He brought a bundle over and held them up, one at a time, next to my cheek.

'That one!' he exclaimed at a particularly subdued but rich forest-green and black paisley-flower pattern. There were occasional lime green highlights running through the patterns. 'Do you not agree, Miss Lovegood?'

'Oh yes,' she cooed. 'It suits his skin tones and brings out Harry's eyes particularly well without being too garish.'

'Exactly, Miss Lovegood, exactly,' said Mr Cargador with a distinct amount of satisfaction. 'It is a general rule, Mr Potter, that you only allow yourself one coloured accessory otherwise you will degrade your evening wear to little more than a sophomoric prom costume. That colour may be of rich, deep hues and certainly not bright red for fear you may resemble a child's cartoon of Count Dracula. You must, above all, surround the colour with black, whether the coloured item is a waistcoat, cummerbund, or pocket square. Please note, the bow tie is not included in the list of coloured accessories, despite what some may think and continue to insist on matching up with their othered coloured items. A coloured bowtie detracts from the wearer's face and is verifiably gauche. Besides, matching sets simply proceed to promote the role of colour from a simple accent to a de facto third component in what is supposed to be the two-tone scheme of the black-tie uniform. The uniformity is lost as is the impact of the stark black and white contrast.'

I could only think to say, 'oh! There's a lot of rules.'

'Indeed, Mr Potter. A veritable minefield. And introducing a jarring note such as the wrong colour calls attention to itself and is what the French call déclassé.'

'But doesn't it smack of the privilege and class superiority that I've just fought against.'

'I prefer to think of it as traditions, Mr Potter. One does not need to be wealthy or even have tailored robes to dress appropriately and reach the right tone. And it certainly doesn't matter what sort of blood you have beneath the right outfit. Traditions are important to a world like ours, they are our foundation. It is unfortunate that some mistake that for superiority. For you in particular, it just so happens that you are in a position that both courts attention and no doubt criticism if you ignore or get anything wrong when it comes to those traditions. Additionally, you are able to afford a well-tailored set of robes so you do yourself a disservice by wearing poor and ill-fitting attire. It suggests a lack of self-respect and a lack of respect for those around you because you don't care or can't be bothered. By achieving the right tone in what you wear, it means that you can be comfortable in who you are as you attend these functions and it is one less thing to worry about.'

'It's very interesting,' said Luna.

'Indeed, Miss Lovegood,' said Mr Cargador and he went back to his counter and started discarding lining materials until he found the one he wanted.

'Cummerbund or waistcoat?' Mr Cargador eventually asked after a long silence.

'Oh, Harry, I think you should wear a waistcoat. It would look very smart.'

'Indeed, Miss Lovegood. You have an impeccable eye.'

'Okay then,' I shrugged. 'What if it's really hot weather?'

'Then you sensibly chose the waistcoat so you can discard your frock coat, should etiquette allow. Or you sensibly chose the cummerbund so you wear less layers. Of course, it is advisable to have summer and winter robes. The summer robes would be of a lighter weight material.'

'I suppose I could get both,' I sighed, already fearing what seemed to be mounting to a ridiculous amount of money. I had a dreadful feeling that my dress robes were going to cost more than all of my wardrobe put together. I also had a dreadful feeling I was going to need both sets of robes.