respite - h.s.

chapter 24.

AN: hi my loves. I just want to note that while I don't know if what's written here would be considered "smut," there is some sexual content in the first part of this chapter and I want to be mindful of my readers celebrating ramadan. I've marked that section with "**" before and after, it's quite short! If anyone wants a summary of the sentiments exchanged between D and Harry during that, please just lmk :)

Also, TW: there is mention/description of a panic attack in this chapter, again please let me know if you want a summary of that bit. Your mental health and happiness is far more important than any chapter i write <3

I love y'all. This one is special to me. Please be kind to our girl.

I've always been just a little scared of heights, but I don't think I've ever admitted that to anyone before.

As much as I love watching my sunsets down on the bluffs, I've always kept a good few feet of distance between my body and the edge of the cliff. I can't help but feel like I'm one wrong step from a landslide.

I don't particularly enjoy being on the top floor of any building. You know the way you can almost feel the floor swaying beneath you if you think about it too hard? I hate that. I much prefer my feet on solid ground. And don't even get me started on elevators, especially if it rises fast.

But that was before.

I think I'm starting to realize that maybe, after all this time, I haven't been afraid of the height. I've been afraid of the fall.

Which is why, when those three small words that somehow carry the weight of the world with them left my lips, I was expecting to feel that pit of fear in my stomach. I was ready to feel like wind was whipping me around in every direction as I tried helplessly to grab onto something to stop the plunge. I was prepared to feel the familiar talons of anxiety sink themselves into my newly vulnerable heart.

I was waiting to lose my nerve, but all of those feelings never came. I was falling, alright, but two strong arms were wrapped around my waist to catch me.

I was falling, but I wasn't scared.

From the second our lips connected, I just knew things were different— something had shifted. Within a moment shared in the middle of the night, all of my walls came crashing down. For the first time in my life, my lungs inflated all the way. Oxygen touched every corner, like I was finally breathing and not just gasping.

He felt it too, I know he did. It was in the way his eyes took on a whole new sparkle, the way he wouldn't stop saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you. He pulled me even tighter to him, my legs crossed behind him as I sat in his lap to hold him closer. I needed him closer.

**

All at once, our kisses were tender, yet desperate. They were gentle, yet hungry. Mumbled and muttered in between breaths were harmonies of sweet nothings: I love you, I want you, I need you.