Dear Joe

Red Light, Green Light

"M'am, could you come here a second? I need your expertise in something." Oh god he's so odd. It's so hard to hold in my laughter. "Yes what do you need help with?" The woman looks like she's around her twenties and she's blonde with greenish eyes. She has a nice slim figure with her boobs popping out, jeez desperate much? "Yes which one would you prefer? The gin, whiskey, or..hm..vodka?" She looks at the bottles and turns to look at him "Well I like a nice hard liquor, but everyone prefers different things." He turns and looks right at her. "Which do you prefer?" She looked over again and pursed her lips. "Hmph..I'd drink the vodka. I know I get drunk off of that." She giggles and gets way too close to him. "I do need a fine lady to share it with. Are you up for it?" He eyes her up and down. "Sure. Here's my number." She winks and walks away. He follows right behind her up to the register, I stay behind. "That comes out to be twenty dollars even." He looks at her and shoots her his award winning smile. He whips out the twenty and puts it on the counter. She practically falls over while he does so and bags his alcohol. Wait, what about his I.D.? He takes the bag and walks out. I follow not too long afterwards.

He turns and looks at me. "And that's how you get alcohol being under the age of twenty one my friend." I gasp. "Impressive, shall we go back to your place and share your trophy?" I smile and hold out my arm. "We shall." He says as he takes my arm and we both walk back to his car.

We arrived at his apartment and we walked over to the bottom apartment on the left. His place wasn't decorated like you would think most guy's apartments are. He just had a few Star Wars posters up and a nice brownish couch, oh and the flat screen TV. He flipped on the TV while I got some glasses. He doesn't watch much TV, but me and him watch The Walking Dead together. Season 3 just ended a couple weeks ago, now we have to wait until October for the next season. I plopped down on the couch next to him. "Let's get wasted." He flipped the channel to some music station, he loves music just as much as I do. He poured me a glass and I watched him fill my cup. I have about a regular size cup because fuck it. He has the same glass as me. We both took our glasses and chugged them both at the same time. In about thirty minutes I was tipsy, we both had another glass full and another thirty minutes later, I was drunk. We were dancing and laughing, like we didn't have a care in the world. We laid down on the floor.

"Hey Max." He said, his words slurring.

"What Joe Shmoe?" I said, my words slurring.

"Do you ever wonder what it would feel like if we kissed?" I looked over at him.

"Joe, you're my best friend. I want to always have you as a friend..but yes I have wondered a couple times." He turned his head and looked at me.

"Could we try it?" I could tell he was so drunk. Did he really mean it or was he picturing Natalie? I couldn't tell. I didn't answer we just stared in each others eyes. He got closer to me, and the next thing I knew his soft lips were caressing mine. This doesn't feel right, he's my best friend. Fuck, I don't want anything to happen. After a couple minutes we both pulled away and just laughed. We started laughing so hard tears are starting to come out of my eyes. "It felt like I was kissing my sister if I had one." He spit out in between his laughter. "It felt like I was kissing my brother." After a couple minutes we stopped laughing. We both crawled back up to the couch and looked at the current song playing. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, I love this song. "This song is the best." He said out of breath. "Yeah it is." I looked over at him, his face was glowing. I decided to crawl over into his arms, I'm getting tired.

"I love you Maxine Amherst." He said in an even toned voice.

"I love you too Joe Ingles."

I wake up with the feeling of needing a bathroom, and quick. I jump up and run down the hall. I throw myself down on my knees and throw up everything that was ever in me. I notice my sweater is off, he must've taken it off me last night. I hear his light feet walk into the bathroom. He holds up my hair as I vomit into his toilet. Once I was done throwing up I sat down and put my back against the bathtub. He sat down in front of me. He stared at me, his eyes intense.

He looked down then looked back up at me, tears forming in his eyes. I suddenly remember I'm not wearing my sweater, fuck. "Maxine. Be honest with me." Fuck. I can't do this. My heart shrivels into nothing and falls in my chest. A lump starts to form in my throat. No, I can't do this with him. "What Joe." I didn't dare to look up. I simply can't. "What's on your wrist?" I looked over at my right wrist, tears forming into my eyes. I moved it so I could see what was marked there. "You already know." I had to look up at him, tears filling up both of our eyes like he filled up our glasses last night. He gently grasped my right wrist pulling it onto his bare legs. I remain staring into his eyes, the morning light starting to hit his face. "I don't know why. I'm just a mess." I managed to let escape from my lips. I looked down from our little staring contest. From what I can see his eyes remain fixed on my flawed wrist. I don't feel anything but aching pain through my body. I want to crawl back into his arms and cry my eyes out. I'm completely numb. I can't look up. I've hurt and scared away my best friend.

"Maxine. I don't know what you're thinking in this moment. I get it. I've been here too. But this..I can't bare to see you like this. I can't handle to see these gashes in your beautiful skin. From the day I first met you I told you that you gained a friend. Now here we are again, in this situation. I know you know that you're beyond beautiful Maxine. I tell you every waking day that I can. If I could stop the sun from dropping down out of our sight to make you see how much you mean to me I would. Just because I know that nights are hard for you. If I could make the stars align each night just how you like them to see that pretty smile come across your pretty little face I would. My world would stop spinning if I ever lost you Maxine..and every time I see these marks on your skin I can't help but to think it's one mark closer to me losing you. One day, that blade is going to kiss your skin the wrong way..and all of your life flowing through your body will start to leak out, Maxine. Then I'll get a call from your mother and father freaking out telling me to get over here. Then I'll jump into my car and drive a million miles an hour that still wouldn't be fast enough to get to you. I'll burst through your door and bolt up those stairs and swing open your bedroom door to see you. My stunning Maxine Amherst lying on her bed with a pool of her life on the floor.. and I'll go over to her. I'll grab her arms and pull her onto my lap and hold you..and cry into your hair. Then they'll come in and want to take my girl away. Then I'll whisper in your ear.. Goodbye my Maxine Amherst..the girl who made my world better as fast as she made it end."

I stared at him. I've never heard something so beautiful in my entire life. Within that second I knew that I hadn't lost my best friend. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. He's the only light in my life right now. Everything else has gone to absolute shit. He pulled me close to him and let me cry into his shirt.

"You're my life Maxine. I've got no one, but you, it's only ever been you. I will protect you for as long as I can. That's a promise I will keep."

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