Step to the Beat of My Heart

“Nothing embarrassing happened to me," Jay says with a roll of his eyes, "I’m just in my head about stuff.”

“Oh really?” Beomhan asks with raised eyebrows, “Because I think if it’s not something then maybe it’s someone?” His face breaks into a grin, “Does the Jay Chang have a crush? Has a little bird caught your eye?”

Jay tries to be nonchalant and scoffs, “As if. I’m an adult now, I don’t get crushes.” But try as he might, he can’t quite look Beomhan in the eye, and he can feel his face warming.

Beomhan takes note of this, of course, and practically lights up in excitement, bouncing off the bed and staring at Jay with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Bro, you’re totally crushing on someone! And I’m only finding out about this now?” Beomhan exclaims.

Jay sighs, “Like I said, I don’t have a cr-”

Beomhan pounces on him before he can finish, wrapping his arms around him and toppling them both over. They end up situated so Jay is on his back and Beomhan is laying on top of him like a starfish.

“Who is it? You are not about to leave me in the dark about this, so spill.”

Jay would laugh right now if he wasn’t a little mortified. Not only has he been thinking about Beomhan’s compliment way too much to be healthy, but Beomhan has noticed. Worse than that, he’s now speculating that Jay likes somebody, which now has Jay questioning if his scrambled feelings are actually romantic feelings for Beomhan. He has to get himself together, because it’s only a matter of time before his brain slips and he blurts out something stupid like, “I get flustered when you say nice things about me.”

It's like all the air is sucked out of the room. It's silent, eerily so, to the point that Jay can hear the thump of both their heartbeats.

Beomhan looks confused and slightly embarrassed, and Jay takes a few seconds to realize that he did, in fact, say something stupid.

Beomhan's mouth is opening and closing like a fish, but his brain finally catches on something to say.

“That's what you've been thinking about? Me complimenting you?"

Jay decides to resign himself to his fate and nods.

"I don't get it, I give you compliments all the time, and none of them are that great. And it's not like other people don't tell you you look good or that your voice is pretty," Jay can feel the blush creeping up his neck at that, "what makes me different?"

"It's nothing, really, forget I said anything." Jay placates, not making eye contact.

Beomhan frowns and sits up, resting on Jay's calfs, "Hey, you know I would never make fun of you for your actual feelings, right? If it's something serious you can tell me."

Jay sighs again and forces himself to look Beomhan in the eyes. He opens his mouth to try and say something that will make sense, but his words get caught in his throat.

Beomhan just looks, for lack of a better (or less lovesick) word, ethereal. The harsh lighting of the room somehow strikes him at just the right angle, making his eyes sparkle. His hair is hanging over his eyes as he looks down at Jay, all fluffy from a shower he took a few hours prior. His shirt is big and loose, covering the baggy gym shorts he's wearing. From where Jay is laying, Beomhan looks like a dream.

"Jay?" Beomhan asks, waving a hand in his face, "you good?"

A wave of emotions washes over Jay, and his mouth starts moving before he has time to think about what he's saying.

"No, honestly, I'm not," he croaks out, "I'm freaking out, actually, because you're, like, really great, like, the greatest friend I could ask for, and I don't want to mess anything up. But I don't even know what to do with all my feelings, because everytime you compliment me or smile at me I know that you mean it, that you're not just saying it because it's what I want to hear or because you want something from me, and thinking about that makes my brain go haywire and my feelings get all scrambled and I get stupid. So, yeah, I think I do have a crush…on you."

Jay finishes with an exhale like he just ran a marathon.

Beomhan blinks, "You like me?"

"I- yeah, yeah I do." Jay sighs.

Beomhan bites his lip to try and control the grin spreading on his face, "I'm gonna warn you, in the next two seconds I'm probably gonna kiss you stupid, is that okay?"

Jay gets dizzy with how furiously he nods his head.

Beomhan smiles wider, if that's even possible, and leans down to press his mouth against Jay's. Jay's hands come up to hold the other's face as they kiss soft and slow. It's sweet and delicate and Jay can feel his heart break open with the force of the love he feels.

After a minute, Beomhan pulls away, albeit reluctantly, but stays close so they're both going cross-eyed trying to look at each other.

"I've been in love with you for so long, you have no idea how happy this makes me, how happy you make me." Beomhan says, breathless. "You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and I mean that not just as some sappy line. It's true, so true you can't even imagine." He huffs a laugh and smiles, "So I was kind of hoping…?"

Jay is grinning right back at him, "You were kind of hoping…?"

"That you'd date me, like be my boyfriend?"

It's Jay's turn to tackle Beomhan with a hug that sends them both falling off the bed.

Suffice to say, they went on their first official date a week later.

•••••••••••••••

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this brain dump of mine, this ship was stuck in my brain after seeing them in Atlanta.