Waiting On A Miracle | Post Malone

6

"Okay..." She nodded, clearly resigning herself to the fact she was going to do this. "Do you um... did you drive?" She was flustered, Christ he loved it when she got flustered.

"I came with dad and Jodie." He placed his hands back in his pockets as he stood before her. Fuck she looked different, the same person yet so different somehow. The confident air she'd had around her at the funeral had all been lifted. Right now, standing this close to him, she was simply tiny and tired and shaken.

"Right. Of course. So um... I guess I'll see you there."

"Let me drive you?" It was half question half demand as he held out his hand for her keys. He could see she didn't want him to, she didn't want any of this, but if there was one person she was worse at saying no to than his father, it was him.

She took a deep breath before handing him her keys, careful to drop them half an inch above his hand and avoid any contact. She motioned her head slightly towards her parked car. He noticed that both their steps were slow and languid and wondered if she was trying to soak up as much of his presence as he was of hers.

***

Dusk was slowly starting to settle over the sky. Uncles, Aunts and cousins had started to leave, bidding farewell to Rich and Jodie and saying goodbye to Austin in a way that made him think they didn't expect to see him again.

His eyes hadn't left her for the two hours and forty seven minutes they'd been there. She had agreed to 'stop by', had taken a seat at the table next to Vanessa and across from Dylan and Mitch, and she had been glued to the seat ever since.

He watched as every family member rotated through, stealing the seat next to her as soon as it became empty. He watched as each of them chatted to her, some laughed, some cried, all hugged as they moved on. He was the outsider in this family, not her.

Rich was sitting beside her now with Jodie across from them. He watched as Rich showed her something on his phone, watched as she offered a small smile to him while her heart was further destroyed beyond the surface.

He shouldn't have dragged her here. It wasn't fair of him, he hadn't considered how much of herself she was giving them by sitting here, surrounded by loved ones that she had no claim to. Loved ones that she was slowly saying her final goodbyes to, knowing she wouldn't be seeing them again.

"It's getting late..." Her words echoed through his ears as everything slowed down to slow motion. She had reached her limit, she had taken as much of his cruel punishment as she could stand and was ready to make her escape.

"Oh no... so soon?" Rich asked, quickly looking at his watch.

"I'm sorry." She was in work mode, mentally she had left already, she had put on her professional facade as a last ditch effort of getting out of there without breaking down. Fuck he wished he couldn't read her quite so well.

He wouldn't be able to stomach this. Watching her leave had almost killed him, but he knew he didn't have it in him to watch as she said her goodbyes to his family. He needed to prepare himself, that was the one blessing of the way she had left last time, he didn't have to suffer through the goodbye.

He was waiting out the front of the restaurant, one hand in his pocket, the other nursing his cigarette as he tried to talk himself down from the ledge he was teetering on. He felt like he'd been standing here, waiting, his whole life.

"Hey..." Her soft voice caught him off guard and he knew immediately he still wasn't prepared for this.

"Hey." It took every ounce of strength to force his eyes to meet hers. "Heading out?" He held out his pack of cigarettes, praying she would accept one and allow him a few more moments with her.