Fall Apart- R.J.L

Caught

"Morning lovies!" Mum chirps as Teddy and I trudge down the stairs.
"Mornin'"
"Good morning" Teddy yawns and wraps her arms around mine to hold herself up. She hasn't been sleeping well. I can practically hear her brain mind racing when she lies in bed at night. She tosses and turns all night. She won't tell me what's on her mind but there's definitely something bugging her.
"I've made french toast and there's coffee in the pot." Mum grins and makes her way over to the table to join Dad in reading the paper, something they've done every morning for as long as I can remember. It's comforting to know that even as I grow older and I'm away more and more, some things never change.
"Thank you Hope." Teddy smiles and sits down, resting her head on the table.
"Are you alright darling?" Mum asks her, clearly as concerned as I am. Although I also find grumpy morning Teddy rather amusing.
"Hm? Yeah no I'm fine, just tired sorry-" Teddy yawns mid sentence, proving her point.
"You can go back to bed if you like dear, you need your rest."
"Oh no, really I'm fine. I'm just a light sleeper." She offers mum a slight smile.
"Here love," I hand her a cup of steaming hot coffee. "Do you want french toast?"
"Oh um I'm alright with this thanks Rem." She looks down at her cup and her eyes drop. Theres something really wrong. I can't tell what it is. Usually I can read her mind just by looking at her. But now. Now... She's distant, blurry, like a mirror image of herself.

"Hey," I say softly giving her should a tap "Can I talk to you for a sec?" I say quietly. Not wanting to alert my parents to anything or make a big deal of it.
"Mhm." She nods and follows me upstairs.
I close the door behind us, once we've entered the room, and sit down on the edge of my bed. She stays standing in the middle of the room. Arms wrapped around herself and eyes somewhere else.
"Whats going on Ted's?"
"What?"
"With you, what's going on with you. You're so... You so far away from me. From everything."
"I'm standing right Infront of you Remus."
"Do you not love me anymore or something? Is that what's going on here? Cause if it is just fucking tell me don't drag me along like this."
"No- what- Remus -I- I don't, how could you say that?"
"Because you- youre so distant. You were so happy two days ago. What fucking happened?!"
"I-"
"Please Teddy...just talk to me."
"You don't want to know Remus."
"What? Of course I do! Teddy I don't care what it is okay? I love you so much, no matter what. Good, bad, everything."
"I never had...this Remus..." She says so quietly it's barely audible. She looks so delicate, vulnerable, like she could shatter at the slightest touch. I can see now how thin she's gotten, her eyes are sunken, her skin dull. She hasn't been well for a lot longer than I thought. I can't believe I didn't see it. I was so caught up in loving her I didn't see how much pain she was in.
"I know...I'm so sorry Ted's, you're family were...they were-"
"Shit."
"Yeah," I breathe "shit."
"My dad he- he used to- he would um. Merlin fuck."
"Hey, it's okay you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
"I want to I do it's just I've never really, I've never said it out loud. It feels too real. Sometimes I think that if I never say it out loud it's not real. Like it's just some story I made up in my head."
"Cmere." I stand up and hold my arms open for her. She walks forward hesitantly and I quickly wrap my arms tightly around her tiny body. I pull her head to my chest and rub her arms to warm her up.
"My dad he- he hit me...all the time." She mumbles into my chest. Her body starts to shake and her voice cracks as tears begin to roll down her cheeks.
"Fuck bloody hell Teddy I'm so...I can't imagine... Hey it's okay it's okay." I sway us slightly back and forth, stroking her hair as she sobs into my chest.
"Everything I did he'd just get so- so mad...he hated me, from the moment I was born I was a disappointment. Mother too she would, she'd always tell me how horrible I was. How I would never be good at anything. How no one could ever love me and I'd die alone and disgraced."
"Fuck-"
"And now I'm here and I see your parents and they're so perfect. They love you so much despite the fact that you're literally a fucking werewolf. They don't care. They love you no matter what. And they're being so kind to me. Taking me in and treating me like one of their own. More than anyone ever has before. Even more than the potters. And I see in their eyes how much they adore you and it just... It hurts. And it's selfish and I'm ruining christmas and I'm so sorry for causing a scene. if you want me to go I'll go but I just...I can't help but feel like there must be something wrong with me."