Touch deprived [Haikaveh]

Touch deprived

Since that plan kind of failed—or succeeded, he isn't sure—he decides it's time for a different approach. He feels a little bad doing these little experiments without Alhaitham's knowledge, but he's too far in to back down now. His curiosity is far too strong.

He wants to know if Alhaitham just went along with it all for his sake. Would Alhaitham miss these physical interactions if he just... stopped?

The first few days into the trial it's kind of awkward. Alhaitham immediately notices something is up with Kaveh's behaviour. He might not be a people's person, but he certainly isn't daft. Not to mention, Kaveh is somewhat of an open book emotionally speaking.

Which is why it's odd that despite his change in behaviour, Kaveh doesn't seem upset. Rather, he seems completely normal.

But now, every time Alhaitham expects Kaveh to initiate some kind of physical touch between them, there's a stagnant pause.

Alhaitham tenses every time, not realising how much he craves these moments, not understanding that he wants Kaveh to touch him.

Did he ever want something like that before? He doesn't recall ever being close enough to someone to want that. At least, not since his grandmother passed on. She wasn't the most physical of people either, but she loved him dearly and would squeeze his breath right out of him like any grandparent would.

He didn't mind her doing that. Just like he doesn't mind it when Kaveh touches him. He figured both of them enjoyed it and needed that from him. He wasn't opposed to it, and if it made them happy, what is the harm?

The experiment Kaveh initiated continues for a week until significant change occurs. He refrains from physical contact and watches Alhaitham's reactions carefully throughout it all.

He'd stopped grabbing hold of Alhaitham's hand when they walked around the city. The 7th day of the no-touch week Alhaitham decided to take matters into his own hands, literally. Their walk lasted about 5 minutes before Alhaitham intertwined their fingers himself.

That very same outing, when Kaveh puts a bit too much distance between them and gets bumped into, Alhaitham pulls him closer with a light tug on the still interlocked hands, putting them close enough together for their sides to touch.

As they go home, Kaveh heads for the kitchen with a self satisfied little grin. He unpacks the groceries and wraps an apron around him to get started on dinner.

Alhaitham leans in behind him, draping his body over his senior while pressing his face against Kaveh's nape. He gives a content sigh, his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin of Kaveh's neck.

"Haitham, what are you doing?" Kaveh asks, giggling at the sensation. His tone is light, and he clearly sounds amused. He finally understands Alhaitham's actions, even if the Scribe doesn't yet.

Alhaitham breaks away from Kaveh, thinking he misread Kaveh.

"I'm sorry, I thought... you wanted me to do that." Alhaitham steps away respectfully.

"Hmmh" Kaveh turns around with a hum.

"I thought you wanted me to start initiating these things more." Alhaitham says almost apologetically.

"Yes, and no." Kaveh nods.

"Which is it?" Alhaitham says with a huff.

"Were you going along with what I did before because you thought it was what I wanted?" Kaveh asks. It wasn't an accusation because Alhaitham didn't do anything wrong. He is simply curious.

Alhaitham hesitates. "Yes."

"And when I stopped, you initiated it because you thought that was what I wanted?"

"Yes." Alhaitham answers with more conviction this time, understanding Kaveh is going somewhere with his line of questioning.

"Alhaitham, if I stopped touching you and you never thought to initiate yourself, would you be OK with that?" Kaveh asks, hoping to get the more human part of Alhaitham's brain to start putting in some work.

Alhaitham thinks about it for a second, before resolutely answering "Yes."

"So you'd be fine if we never held hands again, never hugged, never kissed and never did anything beyond that?"

Alhaitham swallows down the lump that had formed in his throat. He didn't like that idea at all. But if it was what Kaveh wanted, he didn't want to push him.

Kaveh watches the complicated look on Alhaithams face and laughs. He wipes his hands on the apron and closes the distance between them. He wraps his arms around Alhaithams neck, who, without any hesitation reciprocates the embrace.

Kaveh tilts his head up, but it's not enough to put him level with Alhaitham. A hand snakes down and with deft fingers he tugs at his juniors collar, pulling him down till their foreheads meet.

"You are allowed to want touch from me, Haitham. You don't have to wait for me every time, and you don't have to do it, or not do it, just for my sake. It's something you clearly need and have been lacking for a long time."

Alhaitham pulls Kaveh flush against him with the clarified permission about their boundaries. "I don't know what you're on about." He teases.

"Of course you don't." Kaveh tries to roll his eyes but doesn't get a chance before Alhaitham locks their lips together. A soft noise of surprise escapes Kaveh, before he sighs and melts into the kiss.

Only seconds pass before Alhaitham lifts Kaveh up and moves them to the divan, where he plops them down, Kaveh falling over top of him naturally as they continue their exchange without breaking contact once.

His hands travel over Kaveh's back, his arms, his sides, his hips, just enough to not make it indecent. It's just enough to retain that final barrier they hadn't crossed just yet.

After what felt like hours—but could have only been minutes at most—they break apart breathlessly. Their gazes are locked on each other's lips, their faces red and chests heaving up and down as they stare at each other wordlessly.

Neither knows who initiates the second kiss, but they quickly lose track of who starts what. Neither knows where either ends and the other begins.