Kill The Innocent

Chapter Five

"Bathroom." I'm able to mumble shakily. Declan jumps off the bed in a matter of seconds and pulls me out of it just as fast. With his support, I'm able to get to the toilet before I vomit all over his million-dollar airplane.

Declan leaves me in the bathroom alone while he runs back into the room. When he comes back he has a hair tie and pulls all my hair back into his hand.

I throw up my breakfast in the toilet while Declan twists my hair into a loose but effective braid, tying off the end of my long hair with the hair tie he grabbed.

My heart is beating so fast I can't hear anything else but the constant thump thump...thump thump...thump thump. Tears stream down my face and onto the seat I hold in my shaky hands. Every time I think I'm done the dream creeps back into my mind and I'm heaving again. I can't stop, even when there is nothing else to puke up. I keep gagging over the toilet til my throat is raw and in pain.

"Valerie, you need to stop," Declan says, panic in his voice. His hands are holding my shoulders, trying to steer me away from the porcelain.

I give in to his touch and he turns me to face him. I'm still sobbing and shaking. Crying so hard I can't make out any of his facial features. Just his silhouette behind a wall of tears built up in my eyes. I can't get oxygen into my lungs, no matter how hard I try. The air around me is too thick to breathe in. My head hurts and my stomach feels like it's spinning. Everything around me is just too much to exist in.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey," Declan says, wiping tears from my face. "Valerie, look at me. You need to breathe okay? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

I gasp for air, trying to focus on that part at least but it's hard. I can't ignore everything else around me.

"Get the fuck out!" Declan yells at the door, then turns back to me. "It's okay, Love. It was just a dream, it wasn't real. Breathe." He takes a deep breath in and out and I try to mirror his actions but it's shaken and not much air is being taken in, even less being let out.

"Look at me," He says, and I let my eyes meet his. "You got this, okay? In...out...come on, baby, you can do this."

I attempt to breathe along with his words, and it takes a minute, but pretty soon my breathing is regulated and I'm calm enough to breathe alright. Declan wipes my tears with the pads of his thumbs.

"It's gonna be okay, love. I promise. I'll keep you safe." He tells me, pulling me into his arms.

I lean against him and focus on breathing. Declan's hold on me gives me a comfort I'll never be able to explain. He smells like cedar and orange and his presence feels like it too. I think at this moment, how could he possibly be as terrible as they make him out to be? How could anybody in their right mind be terrified of such a caring human being? How was I once afraid of him?

I know the answer. Manipulation.

"Valerie," Declan says, softly as he strokes my hair. "Let's get you back to bed, okay?"

"I don't want to sleep." I murmured.

"You don't have to sleep, but you need rest." I didn't respond this time. He's right, but I'm afraid if I lay in bed, I'll fall asleep, and then we'll have to do this song and dance again. "Come on, love."

He lifts me into his arms and I bury my face in the crook of his neck. My back meets the bed softly and I feel the end of the bed dip when Declan crawls on with me. He pulls me into him and tells me to shut my eyes, but I can't. I won't let myself. My eyes stay open to avoid sleep.

After what feels like a million years, but was really only a few hours, the plane lands. Declan gets up but tells me to stay put. He leaves the room, for only a moment. Saying something to Lore and Ellie, I assume. Then he's back in the room. He helps me out of the bed and his arm meets my waist. Supporting me as I walk through the plane.