Wild Creatures

Chapter 37

"I do!" Lan Zhan insists.

Wei Ying is already shaking his head.

"If you did, you would have told me that you were hungry AND-" Wei Ying gives him a scathing look to stop him from interrupting him, "and then you refused to bite me! Do you have any idea how helpless that makes me feel?" He's poking Lan Zhan's chest with every word he's spitting out, as anger rises to the surface from the ashes of sorrow.

"I can't do it! I can't do it, Lan Zhan! To watch you suffer....it's beyond me." He wrenches out of Lan Zhan's grip, pacing away until he suddenly stops.

Lan Zhan is watching him, and a thought rises in the back of his mind: when does he ever not look at Wei Ying? If he's anywhere close, Lan Zhan's eyes will seek him out. And when Wei Ying turns around, the look in his eyes is chilling.

He's made a decision.

And he's trying to be brave about it.

Lan Zhan feels cold all over, suppressing a shudder.

He knows he's crossed a line, and now he doesn't know how to make it better.

"Tell me now. Is it always going to be like this? You, refusing to feed even though you're in so much pain, and me having to force you into drinking?" Wei Ying chokes back a sob and turns to fully face him. "If that's the case, then pack your bags and get out. Because I'm telling you right now, I'm not built that strong. I-I c-can't do it-" He covers his face with his hands and cries.

Lan Zhan has already wrapped his arms around him, holding him even while Wei Ying tries to fight him off, but Lan Zhan only holds him tighter.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" It becomes a chant whispered against soft, dark hair.

But no matter how warm Wei Ying is, Lan Zhan still feels cold.

Those words...so cruel and yet so necessary. Lan Zhan needed to hear them, in order to see how much he was hurting Wei Ying.

Their situation was unique, but there was still hope for them. They could make it work, they were going to make it work, Lan Zhan thought with determination.

And then he's hit with inspiration.

He makes Wei Ying sit down on the edge of the bed. Crouching in front of him, Lan Zhan wipes away the rest of his tears.

"Wait here." He says, not budging until Wei Ying nods slowly.

Lan Zhan goes to the cupboard where he's had to hide the candy that he bought for the kids, but there's something in here which will help.

He realises he's still shaking when he can't open the packet on the first try. He puts it down and grips the edge of the countertop, willing himself to calm down. This isn't the end, it can't be. He tells himself, breathing deeply to try and mimic the way to stop his own panic.

He knows how hard it was for Wei Ying to say those words, and yet he did, for them. Lan Zhan knows he has to do better, but more importantly, he has to convince Wei Ying that he understands this, and even more crucially, Lan Zhan has to follow through.

This time when he tries to open the packet, it's much easier. He gets what he came for, tidies up after himself and returns to his beloved.

Wei Ying is pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, and Lan Zhan can see that he's trembling too.

"Open your eyes, my Wei Ying." Lan Zhan is shocked that his voice came out so calm and level.

Considering what he's doing.

Wei Ying opens his gritty eyes and now, he's the one who's shocked.

Lan Zhan is holding out a candy ring towards him, and he's down on one knee.