Heroes, Vigilantes, and Villains

Chapter one

My Mother sighed, obviously relieved. "Thank god, I thought you might've gotten caught in the villain attack with Katsuki," she said, finally letting me go. I hated the feeling of relief that came when she stopped touching me.

I looked at her, not understanding what she just said. "...Villain attack?" I asked.

I'd seen the smoke from the roof... it was on the route home that some of the kids that live in this area take if they're going to run by the convenience store first. Was that...

My mother nodded, as if understanding my thoughts, though I know that she was just replying to my question. "Some type of sludge quirk type villain. It tried taking over Katsuki's body. All Might showed up in the end, but... there was a lot of damage from the struggle. I'd thought that you might've been with him."

Sludge type... All Might... Did I? I caused this, didn't I? All Might put the sludge villain into a soda bottle and into his side cargo pocket... When I grabbed onto his leg and All Might tried to shake me off... the bottle must've fallen out. I caused a villain attack all because I wanted to ask a pointless question... How could I be so useless?

"Izuku..." my mother's worried voice came, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Right, I'm still standing here in the living room. I'm not on the roof or under the bridge. I'm home. I'm safe where I can't cause anymore damage.

My breathing was weird, a little more ragged than normal, but I chose to ignore it.

"Honey, are you okay?" She put her hand on my cheek, brushing the hair away. I fought back the urge to flinch away. The concern in her eyes was seemingly growing by the second.

Look at me go, worrying her even more than she already was because of an incident that I caused. I really am a sorry excuse for a son, huh.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine," I lie, not even attempting to put on a fake smile. "You know what? I'm really tired. I think I'm just going to head to bed early." I pulled away from her, noticing the sad look in her eyes when I did.

It wasn't a complete lie though. My end tire body felt drained from the day that I had. But really, at the end of the day... I just felt sick. Sick from the feeling of that thing encasing my body, choking me... violating me. Sick from all the trouble that my stupid actions have caused. And guilty from the fact that I couldn't help but feel sick every time that she touched me. My head felt light, like I was about to pass out, and my hands were clammy despite the cool temperature of the room.

I just needed to get away.

"I..." she started, about to say something but stopped, obviously hesitant. "Izuku, honey. Do you... do you still want to be a hero?" She asked. There was a breaking sensation in my heart at the words. I knew that I would have to tell her eventually, but... I didn't think I would have to face reality this soon. "I know it's your dream and all, but it's just-"

"No," I cut her off, ending her ramblings. People like me... we can't be heroes. We'll just get in the way, like today. I need to think reasonably, realistically, like All Might said. "No, I don't want to be a hero."

Of course I want to be one, but... it's better to lie to her.

My mother smiles at me, but the look turns sad for some reason. Almost like she's lost something dear to her, something that she didn't know that she didn't want to lose. "Okay, good..." she puts her hand on my shoulder, trying to lighten up her smile, but it doesn't work. "We'll find you something else to do. A new career path that's more safe for you."

Safe for me... I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. There's never been anything else for me. I don't even have any real hobbies other than hero fight hunting and analysis 

I nod, not having the energy for much else. A sense of relief washes over me when I pull away from her. I walk away, leaving her standing there in the hallway.

When I walk into my room, a sense of wrongness hits me like a train. It was a different feeling from the sickness from before, this was just... wrong. Every wall, every available surface was filled with hero merchandise. A poster of the current top ten heroes hung on a wall alongside countless posters of All Might. His eyes seemed to stare into my soul, the face that had once brought light into my meek world made me want to cry. They told me just how awful and pathetic of a person I am, how my petty dreams almost killed a child with a brighter future than my own.

Looking at it all... I wanted to rip it all down. I wanted to feel the plastic of the figurines in my hands as I threw them at the wall. I just wanted to be destructive. Surprised by my own feelings, I shook my head violently. Those thoughts, they aren't me, not really.

... I'm going to have to get rid of all of this somehow... I think I'll go crazy if I try to keep it all.

I laid down in my bed, pulling back the All Might themed sheets. Normally, they were soft, worn from use throughout the years. But tonight they just felt scratchy and thin, like skin that didn't fit anymore. A chill swept through my bones as I laid there. It was enough to make me get up and add another blanket from the closet. But even after layering up, the chill remained. It was as if the cold had settled down into my bones, into my soul.