**AS SEEN ON TUMBLR!**
THESE ARE ALL FAKE, JUST FOR LAUGHS.
These fake facts are brought to you by the national "I refuse to accept Eytukan, Tsu'Tey and Neteyam's deaths" group.
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.) Jake Sully is bisexual. Part of him is, "Gay for Spider-Man."
.) Jake Sully can't swim. It's embarrassing.
.) Jake Sully has Twitter, his Twitter username is Smurf_Dilf69420. Neytiri has hacked his account many times, to change his username. However, Jake has changed his username back to Smurf_Dilf69420 each time.
.) Jake Sully has been slapped by over 80 Na'vi women. "Goin' for the world record, baby!" -Jake Sully, on his slap record.
.) Jake Sully named his Ikran "Lebron James." His original name, however, was "Deez Nuts." Neytiri made him change the Ikran's name IMMEDIATELY upon learning this.
.) Jake Sully was once accused of "having crabs" by Tsireya's brother, Ao'nung. According to Jake, he "almost punched a kid that day."
.) Jake Sully has a phobia of Michael Jackson.
.) Jake Sully is related to Sully from Monsters Inc.
Jake Sully's life motto was once, "You don't need legs!!"
.) Jake Sully has been the victim of a Direhorse-kick-to-the-blue-balls at least 4 times.
.) Jake Sully listens to Death Metal when he's angry.
.) Jake Sully has a special nickname for Colonel Miles Quaritch. The nickname is "Coloniser Cunt." This nickname has been interpreted wrong MANY times.
.) Before his Na'vi years, Jake Sully worked at Taco Bell many years before joining the marines. He was fired after a week of working there for "masturbating in the men's restroom."
.) Jake Sully has "accidentally" made enemies with nearly every single Thanator (Palulukan) in existence.
.) Jake Sully has accidentally swallowed an Arachnoid (Kali'weya) in his sleep on a few occasions. Because of this, he has "tripped FUCKING balls!!"
.) Jake Sully's favourite song is "All Star" by Smash Mouth.
.) Jake Sully has been in 18 fist fights (so far).
.) .) Jake Sully refers to Tonowari as "Aqua-Man, but sexier and cooler."
.) Jake Sully, being the God-Tier parent he is, has made his priority to teach each of his children (including Kiri) how to give the middle finger (🖕🏻) upon becoming toddlers. Neytiri has attempted MANY times to reverse this knowledge being given to her children, but has ultimately failed each time.
.) Jake Sully's favourite curse word is "Fuck." "I like the F-Word, it's one of the best words we've got," -Jake Sully, on the word "Fuck."
.) Jake Sully giggles like a little school girl at his own jokes.
.) Throughout grade school, Jake Sully was a BIG fan of "Yo Mama" jokes.
.) In 9th grade, Jake Sully wrote a 69 page essay on the popular gross-out porno film called "Two Girls: One Cup." Sully was given 6 weeks of detention for this incident.
.) Jake Sully frequently confuses the name "Thanator" with "Thanos."
.) Jake Sully is allergic to Yovo fruit. He found this out the hard way.
.) Jake Sully's favourite song is "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65.
.) Upon beginning his new permanent life on Pandora, Jake Sully quickly learned how to make his own beer with fruits and other plants. According to Sully, this homemade beer was the "best fuckin' beer" he'd ever had.
.) Jake Sully cried at the ending of Titanic. He wants to keep this fact a secret.
These are all fake and just for laughs:) I will update these as time goes on. I will also be suing James Cameron for killing our bois and Grace 🥺.
