THE LITTLE MERMAID ━━ Jeff Winger

𝙫𝙞. football, feminism, and you

          She huffed. She should have known. Troy laughed, much like a child, at his remark. "You said, "wiener." That's funny." Elina rested her cheek on her fist, turning her eyes onto the man beside her. He smiled, clearly amused with the two. "Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first, but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence," Abed narrated.

          "Shut up, fart head," Troy said.

          "Shut up, poo-poo head," Pierce spat.

          "Point one for Abed," Elina hummed. Jeff scoffed, shaking his head at her. Before he could say anything, there was a knock at the door. In came the dean, waving at the group. "Hi, everybody. Ha.. Well, look at this group. Having some kind of meeting and being so diverse. There is just – Boy– There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?"

          The dean stood between Elina and Jeff, his hands resting in front of him. The blonde didn't bother turning around, though her back did straighten. She didn't like having someone linger behind her, almost like they were peering over her shoulder. "Well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it," Pierce replied.

          Her eyes widened at his harsh remark. "Uh, Pierce, that's the dean," Britta explained. Pierce's face fell at the news. "You kidding?" he asked. "Sorry. Just my luck."

          "It's alright. Don't let me interrupt," he replied. "Sometimes, I just roll around campus like a little football." His hand fell against the back of Elina's chair. She flinched at the invasion of her bubble. "I can't believe this," he suddenly exclaimed, leaving her bubble just as quick as he came. "Here I am in a random conversation about football, and I'm talking to Troy Barnes, star quarterback from Riverside High. Whoa."

          Elina leaned toward Jeff. "He came here on purpose," she whispered. Her eyes met Jeff's and she had slowly begun to notice just how soft they are. "I think you're right," he replied. There was no reason for the dean to visit. "Troy. Did you know Greendale has a football team?" he finally asked.

          "There it is," she exhaled, amused. Jeff cleared his throat. "Did you know they had a football?" he asked sarcastically. The blonde beside him sat back in her chair, smiling gently at his joke. "Ah, good. That's very funny," the dean replied. Troy did, indeed, find that funny.

          "Troy. I was so sorry to hear about your injury, but now that you have recovered, we would love for you to play for the Human Beings." Elina's face scrunched up in confusion. She glanced around the table, noticing similar expressions on her peers. "The team's name is the Human Beings?" Shirley asked in uncertainty.

          The dean nodded. "Yeah! My idea. It was the Greendale Grizzlies, but I thought—" He heaved a heavy sigh. "A lot of these students have been called animals their whole lives, so..." Despite her feelings toward the dean, Elina thought what he had done was nice. It may be a bit over the top, but he did it to make everyone feel comfortable and included.

          Jeff ripped into the candy Elina had slipped him. He crumpled the paper up into a ball before setting it onto the table. "Unfortunately, I don't know what to do with the mascot," the dean continued. Pierce slowly began to stand, a cocky grin on his face. "Oh, I could help with that," he stated, pulling a card out from his backpack. "I have a wealth of experience in image management, icon development, and Y2K preparedness."

          "Ooh, well, aren't you found money," the dean replied. Elina grimaced at the conversation. She was fairly certain Pierce wasn't skilled in any of those things, but who was she to argue? Maybe this wouldn't be like the Greendale school song. Maybe he actually knows what he's doing. "Troy, all of your friends are lining up to turn Greendale around. How about you?"