Death Note Fan Fiction

The REAL STORY of the Shinigami

LIGHT
Ow!... Damn you, Shinigami!

L
There's no need to shout in unison.

LIGHT
In unison? It was only me, Ryuzaki.

L
Hrmm. Must be my imagination then. 

LIGHT
It's just the two of us here. Everyone else went home hours ago.

L
Yes. That's right. Well, for a brief moment, it sounded like you, your father, Aizawa, Matsuda, and various other members of the Japanese Task Force were uttering a collective cry of anguish.

LIGHT
That's some imagination, Ryuzaki. Maybe you fell asleep for a minute.

L
You were lamenting my death.

LIGHT
Your death?... Ryuzaki?...

L
Yes. I was in your arms, laying there lifeless -- very sad, very dramatic. I was seeing it third-person, looking at it like a renaissance painting or sculpture in some museum. The lighting was superb.

LIGHT
Superb? That's an odd way to describe it.

L
Yes. It is.

LIGHT
Weird.

L
Very.

LIGHT
Well, aside from your nightmares --

L
It wasn't a nightmare.

LIGHT
Then what was it?

L
A vision?... a premonition?...  It was oddly satisfying, like knowing the winning lottery number and then seeing it drawn before your eyes. But, me being me, I don't believe in that sort of thing.

LIGHT
Yes. You being you.

L
I've always know I was different. Ever since I was a small child, I found beauty in strangeness.

LIGHT
These are strange times, Ryuzaki.

L
Indeed. So back to the shouting. It was only you, yelling at the top of your lungs and raising your fist to the heavens. Quite intriguing. Might I ask why?

LIGHT
Why.... what?

L
Why were you yelling?

LIGHT
Well, I... I was just... joking, I guess.

L
You're hesitating, hedging your response. Why?

LIGHT
Lighten up, Ryuzaki. I was only kidding around.

L
By yelling "Damn you, shinigami?"

LIGHT
Damn it, L. It was just a joke, all right?

L
I don't see the humor in it. A shinigami is a god of death -- and well -- let's just say their domain is quite the opposite of comedic.

LIGHT
Listen. I dropped my pen on the floor and went to pick it up. When I lifted my head, I hit it against the corner of the table. Then I shouted. That's it. That's the explanation.

L
I don't recall this turn of events.

LIGHT
You were too busy devouring those pastries to pay attention to anything. Did you think to save any for me? I'm starving... 

L
They help me think.
In fact, I was eating pastries when I determined that you were the first Kira.

LIGHT
Wait. Ryuzaki... "Determined?" That was never proven!... and you know, I'd be able to think better if I didn't hear your chewing and slurping and "omming" all day.

L
There's no need for personal attacks, Light.

LIGHT
Sitting there with your bare feet like some vagabond...

L
I don't see what that has to do with anyth --

LIGHT
You still think I'm Kira!... but you're offended when I question your eating habits?... Ryuzaki, you're not making sense.

L
Actually, quite the opposite. It makes perfect sense for me to believe you're Kira. After all, you're shouting about shinigami -- joking about it -- and only Kira would handle that subject so lightly.

LIGHT
I don't believe this! You're still suspecting me?

L
The short answer is: Yes.

LIGHT
Ryuzaki... L... You have to believe me. I am not Kira!

L
As much as I'd like to believe you're not Kira, logic would tell me otherwise.

LIGHT
Logic? So I bumped my head and shouted about a shinigami, and that makes me Kira?

L
Nnnnnn..... Yes.

LIGHT
So when I bumped my head -- if I said "God damn it" or "son of a bitch" or anything else -- you wouldn't suspect that I'm Kira?

L
Hrrm. That's an interesting question; however, that's not what took place, so there's no reason to examine those hypotheticals.

LIGHT
Damn it, L!

L
It's not my intention to frustrate you, Light. It's my intention to stop Kira.

LIGHT
Then maybe you should focus on the actual Kira instead of me!

L
There's also Misa....

LIGHT
What about Misa?

L
She was the second Kira.

LIGHT
I can't listen to this anymore. Misa has been texting me nonstop: "When you will you be home, Light? I miss you!" She's exhausting, but you know what, L? You're worse! I'm leaving! Good luck solving this case by yourself tonight.

L
I have one question before you leave.

LIGHT
What is it?

L
That cupcake over there. Are you going to eat it?

LIGHT
Damn it, L!... Good night. I might be back tomorrow. I might not. I have better things to do than listen to this nonsense.

L
No you don't.

LIGHT
What?

L
You don't have better things to do. In fact, you have the potential to be the best and brightest detective of your generation -- perhaps even rivaling me. I'm mature enough to admit that.

LIGHT
Well... thanks... I'm still leaving. We'll get a fresh start in the morning.

L
Yes. I agree.

LIGHT
Good night, Ryuzaki.

L
Good night, Light.... and just remember that the door is heavier than --

LIGHT
Heavier than what?

L
Heavier than you think. It'll close quickly and slam on your --

LIGHT
Ow!.... son of a  --

L
Finger.

LIGHT
Bitch!

L
Not "Damn you, shinigami?"

LIGHT
Ow!... damn it... damn it!... Good night, L!... You could've warned me!

L
I did.....
Light?...
I suppose he's gone.
Observation: Light Yagami is inconsistent at best. Evasive.
Conclusion: Yes, indeed. Light Yagami is Kira.
We'll discuss further tomorrow.