From the perfect start

Chapter 28- Nosy girls have the most fun

But there was no blood, so nobody noticed.

And I know I am not alone. There is so much suffering.

But where are they?

Am I just as blind as everyone else so I don't see?

I am under them as often as I can.

Statistic says there must be people with major depression in this room but I don't see it.

Why don't I see it?

Are they seeing me?

"You ok, babe?" I get dragged out of my thoughts by Emmabell's question and as I look into her concerned face I plaster a fake smile on my face.

Or is it even fake?

Maybe it isn't. I can't tell anymore. As long as I am away from the place I grew up, everything is fine.

I mean this is why I am in New York. To forget and start a better life.

I always thought I am broken, a fragile tool.

I am good. I am fucking happy when I am in this city.

Just don't take this away from me, because as long as I am not there and here, I have everything I need to achieve my happy ending at the tip of my fingers.

God, please don't take this away from me.

Because I wouldn't know what to do.

Well, I don't know what to do now... but the art of pretending was always my most valuable quality.

And sometimes it feels comforting to know that depression is a little fucking embarrassing loser. The type that hides and never shows then tries to take up shit. If you want to hurt me, do it with your face showing.

At least those are the words Kaden told me, on that rooftop. It's fascinating how he can act so differently all the time. With the emotions he brings out in me, it seems like he can't show his true colors. Like he puts on a mask every day, as a billionaire he sure as hell has the money to buy them all. Joke aside, maybe it is true, and accidentally... it slips sometimes. Or I am delusional and see things that aren't there but this boy. Goddamn it, he annoys me and I want to act like I don#t like anything about him but that isn't the truth. I would like to have a look inside this enchanting human being. As cringe-inducing as it sounds, I would like to speak with his soul. Maybe one day... until then I can tease him.

A little grin tugs at my lips as I notice how my focus has shifted. As I lift the vodka glass to my lips, I think, "I welcome distractions." I empty it in one go and close my eyes to blend out the burning in my throat, trying not to gag from the unwelcome feeling.

The warmth in my stomach starts to come back and the loose feeling is on its way too. When I look at them, I make sure my smile is as I want it to be since I know the energetic mood will soon set in. Ray has his arm casually wrapped around me and Kaden's eyes meet mine.

His expression doesn't give anything away, a blank mask covering his face. Not even a twitch of his eye and then he looks in an almost robotic movement down at his phone. He types something in and then looks up. He leans down to Harvey and whispers something in his ear. A glint enters the British man's eye as his best friend says the quiet words, a glint directed at me.

I try to study his features, but I can't make out what he is thinking.

His head is slightly tilted down but I notice him biting the inner side of his cheek as his gaze slowly drops to my lips. His eyes look like a haze full of fog.

I can almost see a snap in his consciousness as he quickly raises from his feet, removing his eyes from me and traveling to Harvey. The British are always dressed in navy suits that would rather fit into a business meeting than here. However, still nobody could ever say he would look out of place. As they look at each other a silent conversation occurs and even though Harvey looks loosened up with a slight upward tip of the corner of his mouth, I see a slight frown. A hint of anger hides behind but Kaden doesn't realize...