Draw the Line

chapter forty-one

I startle when the front door slams, sending a small avalanche of snow cascading down from the roof and onto the front stoop, right on top of Luke. He freezes mid-step and looks up from the steps down to the drive, his expression blank. His jaw works, tired eyes closing as his shoulders rise with a pissed-off inhale.

He jerks his head in a few vicious snaps of his neck and the snow in his hair goes flying. Most of the snow has congregated on his shoulders, which he shrugs off while muttering under his breath. Only a few words carry across the drive, but it's enough to catch onto his mood. "...swear to god I'm going...fuck this fucking town...middle of fucking no where...fucked up knee isn't enough...fuck did I do..."

When he looks up his eyes narrow on me and Micah standing in the middle of the driveway. We're both watching him, but it's Micah's smile, which only grows as he watches his best friend struggle to rid himself of the snow clinging to his coat while he limps off the front porch, that sends him over the edge. "Get your ass in the car, Josephine. We're late."

"Whose fault is that? I've been out here waiting for you for ten minutes!" I call back, though it's nearly lost beneath the slew of curses that echo through the quiet morning as he attempts to navigate the icy drive with his worsening limp. One particularly loud motherfucker is all I need to know he's reached the ice patch near the hood of his car.

The trek was hard enough with two perfectly capable legs, I can only imagine how much harder it is to stay vertical when one knee is liable to give out without warning.

Micah looks like he's tempted to help, but stays put, knowing it would just set Luke off even more to be coddled. He likes to pretend he's fine, that his knee isn't getting worse, and I like to not poke the already annoyed bear who's about to drive me to campus on his way to physical therapy.

I walk to the passenger side of Luke's car and wait for him to unlock it with his key fob.

"Hey, wait up, Jos." Micah grabs my hand, threading his fingers through mine to keep me with him. I let him pull me back a few steps, far enough away for Luke not to catch his voice as he leans down and murmurs in my ear. "Today's the last day. The day before break ends."

I avert my gaze over his shoulder. I'd been hoping he'd forgotten about that.

Luke, who finally made it to the driver's side door, gets into his car and starts the engine. Someone even his car sounds pissed off. The roar of the engine is louder than anything I've ever heard, and it doesn't help when Luke revs it, staring at me point blank with a get your ass in the car or I'm leaving you expression.

Micah twists us enough to block my view of Luke, and when I don't respond, he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me until the world disappears and all that's left is the soft brush of flannel against my cheek and the heady scent of his body wash. I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle my nose against his chest. If I could stay here, right here, all day, I would.

His breath is a warm peppermint cloud against my temple. "Are you going to apply for the art show?"

Luke revs his engine again and Micah's hand lifts from my back to flip him off.

"I don't know," I whisper. My hands are sweating now. I've dreamed of applying to this art show since I was a little girl, staring wide-eyed and enchanted at the collections chosen every year. Hand grasped tightly in my mom's, we'd walk the entire gallery, stopping at each piece to consider the meaning of each one — the invisible ink weaved through with each brush stroke.

I can't shake the thought of Little Josie, beaming up at the art-lined walls, wondering if she'd ever make it up there one day.

My throat clicks as I swallow the guilt now tightening my chest. She deserves to be up there — or, at least the chance to be chosen. She deserves so much more than I can give her, and maybe that's the part that hurts the most. I've spent my entire life working to get here and now I just...can't take that final step.