𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 | 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞

¹¹ | Steak and Seafood

The world is beige. I stare at Adam while he stares out at the water. The wind blows, sending ripples across the pond. Two ducks flap their wings and fly over our heads.

"I just did the very best I could for him. I kept all his secrets. I lied for him. I did so much, and it still wasn't enough. Why isn't it enough? Why is she suddenly enough for him?"

Linda. This is about Linda, I realize. Adam knows.

"If Charlie is too blind to see this stuff, Adam, then he isn't worth this stuff. You deserve someone who will appreciate you and treat you right. You matter and your love is worth it."

Adam pulls at the skin on his face with his hands. His eyes are red and glassy. His cheeks are puffy and raw. "He has kissed me, and I never said anything. Not to you, not to anybody. Because he said he wasn't ready. I was his science experiment, even when I said I didn't want to be. I was his secret--this whole fucking secret for months because he said that the press would ruin it. I put up with this shitty feeling of thinking that I'll only ever be someone's secret for so long. I'm tired of it, Maeve. I'm just tired. Why did I let him do this to me?"

"Because love makes people do crazy things. When you love someone, you would bend over backward for them. But love, Adam, love isn't supposed to feel like that."

"I just never thought that he'd find someone else. I didn't think that he'd come here, and find this girl. It's over now, and I don't get any part of the decision. I'm never part of the decision. It's always whenever he wants me, or whenever he doesn't. We're together when he feels like it, but it always has to be a secret. It has to be private and no one can know because they'll ruin it--'someone else will tell us it's not right'. But it was always Charlie who made it not right. It's done when Charlie doesn't want to look in the mirror and face the facts. It's over when he tells me that he's not fucking gay."

I don't say anything. There are no words that would comfort Adam right now. I want to tell him that he will find someone, but that means nothing to him when the one person he wants, keeps up this wall.

Adam looks at me. "Is this how it feels--when you see Guy and Connie together?"

I hold his hand and lean into his side. He puts his head on top of mine.

"Yeah, this is how it feels."

☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆∵☆

"𝐇𝐄𝐘, 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑! 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓 up!"

He stops as I catch up to him. First period starts in four minutes, but I've never needed to talk to anyone more in my life.

"Oh, hey, Maeve."

"Please tell me you remember something from Friday night."

"I remember everything," he tells me.

"I need you to tell me every detail. I don't remember any of it."

Hunter scans the hallway for anyone who might be listening or watching. "You up for skipping class?"

I weigh my options. I could go to class and overthink every look I get. I could go to class and stress over the fact that I don't know what I might have done, while everyone else does. Or I could skip class, and possibly risk getting detention, but at least know.

In the end, I nod. He pulls me into a nearby janitor's closet.

"What do you want to know?"

"Whatever you can tell me."

Hunter says that he picked me up, just like we planned a few days before (he reminded me that he is a very good driver and has had his license for two months). He says that I wasn't in a good mood when we first got there because of the first game.