War of Hearts (Hotd fanfic)

If By Chance

Rhaenyra's plans didn't go as well as she'd hoped they would, knowing that hours ago she was wed to her cousin, Laenor Velaryon. It was difficult without her mother, the only person apart from Daemon, who truly understood her, was indeed gone. Without her guidance and love, Rhaenyra was lost and so she did what was best for her family.

One evening, she heard her father say at the feast table. "The union of our houses will bring a century of peace and prosperity to the people."

The Master of Laws raised his cup in agreement. "Let's drink. For the union, for the Princess, and for the future."

Claps erupted from the lords surrounding the king himself. Rhaenyra took a deep breath, her cousin- husband sitting beside her.

The heat from the intense blue eyes watching her warmed her skin, and she felt very exposed. They belonged to Ser Harwin, the man who saved her life more times than she could count. He saved her at her own wedding feast at the nod of his own father, even after the chaos caused by Ser Criston.

Her husband lost his lover, and so did she. She couldn't, she wouldn't betray the throne and her family for her selfish gain, for "love." Though it was too late to think about that now, it was all over.

Criston committed a crime and he deserved to be charged with murder. In the middle of a somewhat happy occasion, to kill an innocent man was an abomination.There was nothing good about him, not anymore.

Rhaenyra continued sipping her drink, quietly looking at the glass. The lords engaged in conversation about politics, women and whatever else they could, too boring for Rhaenyra to care.Even Laenor was having a fabulous time, eyeing men, pursing his own personal interests.

She wished Criston would agree to continue being hers because whenever she saw him, her heart skipped a beat and her chest tightened. She wanted him once, and now she was empty and lost, stuck with a husband who didn't even desire women.

"Ser Harwin, your father has told me that soon you will be in need of a wife?" One of the affluent lords said to the Captain of the City Watch, whose boots were on the table as one hand was wiping the corners of his mouth.

He glanced at Rhaenyra like he was hesitating. Then he spoke. "Aye, my lord. Times are rough and my father is preparing me to take my place as Lord of Harrenhal." He sighed. "I must do what he asks of me."

"I have plenty of daughters who would be a good match."

Ser Hawrin's forehead wrinkled, and Rhaenyra almost felt bad for him. She knew what it was like to be treated like a possession to be passed around.

She'd spent months at sea, meeting potential suitors from the most powerful houses in Westeros, and yet she found no one. What if he was in the same situation as her?

Though, not the same could be said for men. Men weren't shunned for having lovers or a dozen bastards. She shouldn't be feeling sorry for him. After all, he was still a man. A strong one with hands that could break bones, and do other things which should've been kept in Rhaenyra's wild mind.

Gods, get a grip. She thought to herself, face scrunching in frustration. Knowing she'd never get to feel the touch of a man who desired her, one who wanted her in more ways than one. Not counting her uncle Daemon, who left her cold and alone in the middle of a pleasure house because he didn't know what he wanted.

She was over men. They left her with nothing but disappointment and shame.

Rhaenyra took a deep breath, and she finally let go. Warmth gathered at the crevices of her eyes and if she stayed there for a minute longer, the entire court would witness the Heir to the Iron Throne crying.

She excused herself before that could happen, and as soon as she walked through those double doors, the tears flowed freely.

For a moment, it sounded like someone was following her.  Rhaenyra sat on a cold marble seat and sobbed.

She didn't ask for any of this.

Gods, forgive me for being so ignorant and stupid, Rhaenyra thought.

She couldn't trust anyone, not even her own father, who was too busy trying to convince Alicent to have another child. As if her position at court wasn't threatening enough.

Then there was Daemon, who Rhaenyra didn't even want to think about. A problem, on top of more problems for her to deal with another day.

She wiped her cheeks with a cloth and her hands trembled. She didn't want to be in this position anymore. No one seemed to understand.

Alicent was her only friend, and she betrayed her too. Ser Criston did as well, and then swore an oath to Alicent to protect his head, tarnishing everything Rhaenyra felt for him in the process.

Like her handmaiden, Shaera, once said. "Men think with only one head, and it isn't the one on top."

The footsteps finally reached her. Rhaenyra didn't have the energy to look up.

A husky voice said, "Princess, is something the matter? I saw you storm out and I wasn't sure it would be a good idea to follow."

"I'm fine, Ser Harwin."

"You're not fine, you're crying, Princess." He sat down beside her, hands clenched together. His eyes flashed to the hallway to check if someone was watching them.

"Really, I'm fine-" Ser Harwin cut her off by brushing his fingers across her chin and lifting her head with light force.

"You're flushed and you're shivering. Princess, you have a fever. I'll go get a maester."

And so he did. More than any of the other men in her life had done for her. He saved her life twice in seven moons and she didn't even have the chance to thank him for the first time.