The Pocketwatch Complex

Chapter 1

If you find yourself looking for a story about love, and happiness... This isn't it. 

This is the story of me. A man who found himself losing everything. I held on as long as i could, i kept my grades up as far as i could but college was a lot more different than high school. About ten times harder.

And also about ten times harder to keep your girlfriend. And also about ten times harder to manage depression.

Maybe this whole slump put me in depression? Maybe it was the grades? Maybe flunking out was better?

Those thoughts were easy to push out of my mind, reminding myself that i was never going to be a therapist if i couldn't even solve my own problems.

Perhaps being a psychiatrist wasn't my Calling.

Better yet, did i even have a calling. Looking over the edge of the building didn't look like it.

Better yet, what was this story about? This story, my dear readers. Is about my real calling.

I pulled myself from out of my thoughts and look down at my feet at the very edge of the roof. A six story apartment complex should kill a man, right?

I looked at my watch as it struck an alarming 3:22 AM.

I've done this almost every night for the past week, stand at this ledge. But tonight i felt closer to doing it than any other night. My fear of heights was leaving and it looks almost inviting. A temporary cold embrace for a permanent solution. Was it a solution?

My tips of my shoes were only half an inch over the ledge. I could feel my body balancing more than i ever could. A sidewalk below my gaze looked softer than ever and the fear of that six story apartment complex seemed pretty small.  Tonight was the night i was gonna do it. End it all. If she didn't want me, my college didn't want me. Then i didn't want me either.

I attempted lifting my right foot and inhaled deeply, i was ready. I was ready to take the plunge.

"Got nothing to lose, do you?" A voice said from behind me.

I murmured a curse and looked over my shoulder, a man stood facing me. A younger man, younger than i was for sure. He had long black hair pushed away from his face and looked almost dirty. Some kind of bum i presumed.

"Look, guy, i don't want talked down or anything. I'm fine." I shrugged my shoulders.

"All i'm saying is, what's so bad you gotta kill yourself?" The young man asked.

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "You really wouldn't know." I said to him.

"What's you're name?" He asked putting his hands into two coat pockets. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "My names Damon."

"Caius. Pleased ta' meet you, Damon." He said extending me a hand, i raised my eyebrows looking at him. It was like no matter what look i gave him, he didn't understand how annoyed i was, i just wanted to get this over with. Not have a chat with this guy.

.. "That's fantastic." I said obviously sarcastic.

"I understand you see me as some guy like the rest just to talk you down but trust me, I've been in that same exact spot. Planning to jump of that very same roof." He pointed at where i stood. Maybe he was right...

Also, then again, maybe he wasn't. I needed to do this. i didn't have anything to go back to, he must not get it entirely or he'd understand why i had to do this.

"What's so bad? Is all i'm asking."

I thought about the question, it didn't take me but three seconds to come up with the answers he said he wanted.