Peanut Butter: In a nutshell

The Begining

Hello, I should probably introduce myself, my name is Peanut Butter, but my friends the Bears call me PB for short. I should probably clarify something that wasn't at all obvious before, I am peanut butter. The Kraft brand to be exact. I was born awhile ago, I don't remember much, but from what I have been told by the Bears, I was pooped out of a machine and placed into this container, I have since then become with with the container and been put on this shelf in a "Super Market". I should also clarify I don't know what a super market is. When I asked the Bears they said the thing your in right now, and then I reminded them I am inside of a plastic containers. People walk by me everyday, I can barley see them because there is so many other things around me, I think they are imitating me because they look almost the exact same! Seriously! They all are in a container, they all have green paper around them with Bears on them. The Bears say I'm "Generic" and I am "Un original" but I would tend to disagree.
You see, all the other jars have flat peanut butter at the top, but not me! I have a swirl! I am very proud of myself! The Bears tell me that I am not cool because I have a swirl, but in fact I have a disorder and I am stupid for having it. I would like to disagree but the few times that someone sees me they always say "That one has a swirl, don't get it. It's not as satisfying to stick a knife into for the first time.". To be honest, it's kind of a good thing though because I don't want a knife in me! The only reason I know what a knife is, is because someone walked by me with a knife, and the Bears told me it was one, and that it was sharp and they would stick it in me and scoop a bit of me out! Slowly they would eat me and then I would just be the remains stuck to the jar! That's scary! So this swirl has been telling people that I am tough and to back off! The Bears still say I have a disorder and should see a "doctor" but I don't know what that is, and I don't think I want to because that sounds like a disorder! Imagine telling someone that! "Oh yeah by the way I have Doctor.". I could just see someone fainting from hearing that news! Such a sad life the person with doctor lives. Anyways, I just sit here, on this shelf, waiting and waiting for my inevitable death of old age at this rate.