Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love

Chapter 13: Solstice

"You're still not decent," said Draco, observing her shorts and the low-cut top (still long-sleeved, however).

"Please. This is normal attire when it's bloody scorching. Are all wizards secretly nuns, or is it just you?"

Draco considered this an attack on his machismo, and seriously contemplated offering to show Granger how much of a nun he was not, except he couldn't think of how to phrase that in a manly, virile way.

"Have you changed your mind about the favour?" asked Granger, backing out of his way so he could come in.

Draco took his usual chair in front of her desk and assumed a magnanimous pose. "I've decided to, at the very least, hear you out."

"Thank you for lavishing me with your charity."

Draco gestured at her to continue in a kingly sort of way. Also, he wasn't having any difficulty focusing on her face and her low neckline was not distracting him at all.

"I'm only asking you this because I know you are morally corrupt and have no ethical standards," began Granger. "I would ask no other Auror what I am about to ask you."

"Strong preface," said Draco. "I am flattered. Continue."

"How do you feel about thievery?"

"In favour," said Draco.

"You don't even know what we're stealing."

"What is it?"

"What if it were – theoretically, of course – a precious relic of critical religious significance?"

"...When are we going?"

"Have you got any plans for the Solstice?" asked Granger.

"Thievery of a religious artefact with a surprisingly naughty Healer," said Draco. "You?"

A pleased look flitted across Granger's face, then disappeared. "I have plans with a morally bankrupt Auror."

"He sounds like a catch."

"I'm beginning to think he is," said Granger. Her withheld laughter made her eyes bright.

"So tell me."

"Promise you won't report me to the authorities?"

"I am the authorities, Granger."

"All right." Granger clasped her hands in front of her in a nervous knot. "I'm going to steal part of a skull."

"A skull."

"Yes."

"Human?"

"Yes."

Granger watched Draco anxiously for his reaction. He made her suffer by staring at her expressionlessly for a full twenty seconds.

She was holding her breath.

"Diabolical, Granger."

Granger let out the breath.

"Is the person dead or alive?" asked Draco.

Granger looked scandalised. "Dead, of course."

"I don't make assumptions. Whose skull?"

"Mary Magdalene's."

Granger was holding her breath again.

"What?"

"I told you it was of religious significance," said Granger.

"Isn't she wildly important to the Muggles? The Christian ones? Where is her skull kept? Are we going to raid the Vatican?"

"Well, that's the good news, I think. Her skull lies in a reliquary, in a crypt. And that crypt is in a quiet little monastery in the south of France."