Phil: Like not entering a portal gate till it warms up.
[Phil hits the portal, sending Five and Miko through]
Miko: Sup Glitch Techs, we're here! Woop woop!
BITT: Alert, alert, there is one new message in your personal mailbox.
Phil: Yea, yeah, whatever it is can wait BITT, just take the new trainees and set em' up in the training sim for me okay?
BITT: But-
Phil: The rest of you, stop murking the lobby down there, yeah you, get out on your morning patrols!
Mitch: Phil, it's a slow day out there.
Phil: Well let's keep it that way!
[Mitch leaves via portal]
Five: Oh, well when do we get one of those Glitch tech gauntlets?
Phil: When you complete the tutorial.
Miko: Ugh, okay fine...if it gets us one of these babies, let's just burn through it. How long can it be?
Phil: Well the first three hours are the worst, but the last five really fly by. And Tyrannix, Zahra left you something in the breakroom fridge
Tyrannix: thanks, I shall examine it afterwards
[Miko groans]
[Transition to the training simulator]
Helpie: Haha, welcome Glitch Tech newbies! Or "noobs" as we like to call you.
Miko: Oh no..
Helpie: I'm Helpie, your helpful host! In this tutorial, you'll learn the 'leet skills needed to pwn glitches as a first-level Glitch Tech technician!
Miko: [swatting at Helpie] I can't shake him! Don't leave us like this BITT!
BITT: I'm sorry, this tutorial is manditory. No skipping ahead, shutting down, or requesting false pee-breaks will be tolerated.
Five: Do we get a lunch break?
BITT: There is a vending machine on the main level. Caution on selecting the egg-salad, however, we have lost 12.5 trainees that way, that egg-salad is.......violent.
Five: Did you say "point five"? How do you lose half of a-
BITT: Goodbye.
[The door shuts, with Miko pounding it]
Helpie: I see you're trying to punch something. We will cover this in Step 12, Punching! [giggles]
Tyrannix: I like this tutorial thing
Miko: This is my nightmare.
Five: Look, I know it's cheesy, but come on! We're one of the rare few that get to learn about game glitches and where they come from.
Helpie: Where do glitches come from? Allow me to drop some knowledge on ya playas. The Hinobi central processer is a highly advanced but extremely delicate piece of equipment, so a glitch may occur as a result of corrupt software, overheating, underheating, sudden loud noises, sudden soft noises, poor ventilation, spillage...
Meanwhile
Phil: Thanks for choosing Hinobi, where we're always game to help you. Next!
BITT: Sir, there is still the matter of the unread message in your-
Phil: BITT, I'm with a customer.
Barbara: Hey Phil.
Phil: Bookworm Barbara?
Tutorial Mode
Start from the beginning
