dear me
it's a hard time isn't it ?
are you still tired?
Are you still exhausted?
What's wrong ?
You have an easy life don't you?
Perfect family, a nice house, a pretty room, everything you want right ?
No reason to feel like shit right.
'You're mom is nice to me' yeah to you
'she looks so nice' yeah I know
' why don't you like her?' you don't know her
Its exhausting
she's exhausting
I'm exhausted
But we gotta smile
The world doesn't stop because you don't feel good
You gotta get up
And do the things you gotta do
I may feel bad
But it doesn't matter
I might hurt myself
But it doesn't matter
I might cry myself to sleep
But its doesn't matter
People don't suspect a thing
Because I'm a good actress
I'm a good lair
The only person who makes me feel happy
Like I don't have to pretend
Who makes it easy to smile
The person who sees through my mask
Is my dad
He makes me feel happy
I don't have to fake when I'm around him
If I feel sad he doesn't judge me
He doesn't make me feel bad
I can tell him everything
My mom doesn't see it that way
' he's bad for you'
But he makes me happy
'he manipulates you'
No he doesn't
You do
You manipulate me
You are bad for me
You shut me up
He makes me speak out
You lie to me
He is honest to me
About everything
But this isn't about them
Its about me
About how I feel
Wel I don't really know how I feel
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I laugh
But I don't know how I feel
Happy? I don't know
Sad? Sometimes
Angry? Yes sometimes
But I just hope we figure out who we are
I hope that we are happy
Dear me I hope you're happy
Dear me I hope you don't feel the urge to hurt yourself
Dear me I hope I hope you love yourself
I just don't think its gonna happen
People always say 'its gonna be oke '
Is it?
'don't worry '
oke
'Don't stress about it'
Right im sorry
'don't over react'
Yeah oke
It's hard when no one gets how you feel
'it can't be that bad'
Whatever you say
'at least she doesn't hit you'
Yeah you're right
'people have it worse than you'
Yeah I know
People judge me
You judge me so I don't speak
I keep quiet
I keep it to myself
I don't tell you things
I don't talk about how I feel
'why don't you talk to me ?'
'you can tell me anything I won't judge'
'why are you so distant?'
Yeah I wonder why
I don't want this anymore
I don't want to feel weak
Because im not
But you make me feel weak
I don't want to be scared
Im not
But you scare me
You know who doesn't ?
Yeah my dad
I don't think you realize how many times you saved my live
How many times I wanted to end it
But I didn't
Because of you
Because were in this together
Were in life together
im so happy I have you
without you I wouldn't be here anymore
but I don't think you would be here if I wasn't
you're my home
you're all I need
I love you
More than anything
People say you cant love someone if you don't love yourself
But there so wrong because I love you so much
I don't really know why I wrote this
But felt right
I just wanted to say
Dad I love you
