I never thought I'd return to that cruel place. But here I am facing my past and the demons that haunt me trying to figure out who's behind the accident of Leyla but I didn't thought that returning to this school would open so many wounds.
Ela, the...
I knew it would confuse me to see him again but I ended things out of a reason even if I sometimes do miss him. But standing here reminds me why I ended things because I changed as a person and can not go back to the way I used to be. That's why I tried to ignore him by walking ahead. I just hoped he would stop following me but Kanat can be so stubborn so I knew he would not stop. I walked across a street and he drove faster and blocked me on my way.
"Are you really that afraid of that you're running away from me, Ela?" he asked amused which I immediately denied. "Why would I be afraid of you?" I countered but he narrowed his eyes and stared intensely long at me almost longingly "I know you, Ela. The same way I know you're suspecting I have something to do with Leyla's accident which is why we have to talk about it" he stated which made my jaw drop. How can he be so straightforward? However, what he said did not stop me feeling unsure of this situation. I do not know this new Kanat and I'm afraid what talking to him will make me realise.
He seemed to sense my inner conflict so he started "and you also skipped school so obviously you did not change that much so let's have some fun and talk and I'll drive you home right after that" he promised. "Will you stop if I come with you" to which he nodded his head towards his car so I climbed inside not knowing our talk would change many things.
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He drove us to a fancy café to which I narrowed my eyes because we never went to fancy café's. I looked at him and he started to laugh "Come on, there's someone inside you know too" he started as we stepped out of the car. However, my overthinking self thinks that this is a bad idea. "I think it is better if I go home and we forget what happened" I said as I started to walk away but he quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. "Don't be a mood killer, Ela. We both know you're afraid to find out things you don't like" he said looking at me.
I literally shuddered because he is right. I am not afraid to find out he is involved in Leyla's accident but more to find out he is still the Kanat I know and that there is still part of him I love and he knows that. He's not implying on Leyla's accident but on me running away from my feelings. He always did that. I was so lost I drifted off and started to think about one of our fights.
Flashback 9 months ago It was my 17th birthday but also one month before the day that my mother left us years ago which is why I never want to celebrate my birthday. However, Kanat and Melisa would not take that and convinced me that we should still celebrate it in Melisa's garden and I agreed to not hurt them but the condition was that we do something small.
Yeah by saying something small I did not mean almost all of our classes. I was pissed and Kanat sensed my mood which is why he pulled me inside and we sat down on Melisa's couch. "Okay, things kind of got out of control but before we let that ruin the day I have a little gift for you" he started to which I gave him a pointed look since he promised he would not gift me anything. He gave me a small package and I opened it and started to laugh. It was a necklace with a tornado on it. I shook my head at him so he would explain the meaning and he started to laugh. "Did you not already figure it out?" he started "Wherever you go, chaos is coming after you, you chaos bringer" he whispered and kissed the spot on my neck that drives me crazy "which is why I love you" he whispered but I heard it and tensed up.
He seemed to feel me tense up which is why he looked at me sad. He knows how much I struggle to say I love him back. I shrugged my head disappointed in myself and he took my hand and assured me that it is okay. I saw his mother walking towards the door of the garden and couldn't help but roll my eyes. Usually I love Suna I probably could not help it because Kanat got beaten up by his dad after he tried to defend Aziz. I started to laugh "I can not believe she is walking around like nothing happens" to which Kanat shook his head "She can not do more than that, my love" to which I shook my head "But she is supposed to do more. A mother is supposed to protect her children" he laughed at that "that's ironic coming from you" and time seemed to freeze at that moment.
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I quickly looked at him "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked hurtful. "It's that your mother does not protected you either and you can not accuse my mother all the time" he stated angrily and I quickly got up. "I can't believe you're saying this right now" I stated in disbelief whereas I know I was at fault for starting with his mother. "And you're just avoiding your feeling because you're afraid so that's why you're pushing me away right now because you are afraid of being left again" he stated and I shook my head frantically even though I know he is right. "Coming here was a mistake" I stated and left him alone.
(Here's the long awaited chapter. So now we're at episode 2 and I'm very exited because I love to write Ela and Kanat's scenes🥺🥰. Also I love to write about Ela and Melisa's friendship as well as her coming one with Hazal which next chapter will be about. I'll probably post it in one week so bear with me and let me know what you think of this chapter. 🤗)
