cigarettes out the window

one

BEFORE ◦ WINTER 97

My vision blurred with each snowflake hitting my eyelashes. Even with my large scarf covering the lower half of my face, my warm breath managed to fog up my glasses.

"Are you nervous?" Shoni asked, her voice muffled from her trying to dig her face deeper into her bright red winter jacket.

"A little," I said as her right arm hooked into the crook of my arm.

My first day of eleventh grade at a preparatory school my parents shipped me off to. Shoni, a cousin I never felt particularly close to before our current walk up the block, called me the night before to tell me she'd show me around. I mumbled sure and hung up.

"I told a few of my friends to meet us up front, you can meet them." She turned to me, her coat falling from being used as a face shield, and smiled with shiny white teeth. I looked down to see the bright white snow mixed together with the dirty sidewalk grime.

"Shoni!" A girl with long brown hair shouted from the school's front steps, and a slender boy with a buzzcut stood next to her, his eyes perking up towards us when she called her name. Kids our age huddled up in huge jackets ran inside and out of the tall white building.

"Hey!" Shoni waved. In a swift motion, Shoni grabbed my arm and rushed me up the steps, "This is Kit! My cousin! From California!" She said with great emphasis on each word, huffing from hurrying up the stairs.

"Hi, Kit!" She didn't tell me her name, only showing me her perfect teeth.

"Hi." Waved the boy next to her.

"Hi," I said meekly, nodding toward both.

"Is this different from winter in California?" The girl said.

"Dumb question." The boy giggled.

"Shut up, Fab." Shoni squawked, hitting his right shoulder.

"It's...different." I smiled simply.

"Fuck, what time is it?" Shoni's friend said, checking the tiny watch on her wrist. "Fab and I have statistics in a few minutes, we should go."

Shoni and her friend hugged and promised to meet later during our recreation period. The boy stood back, staring at me. I pretended not to notice and I hoped he wouldn't notice that my face grew a shade of deep red.

"Kit?" The boy asked, his hands buried deep inside his coat pockets.

I nodded, "What's your name?"

"I don't tell my name to just anybody." He teased.

"Fab?"

He hesitated and smiled. His brows knitted together, "Hey, that's only half of it!"

"Come on, Fab." The girl called out, her body already halfway through the doorway leading into the school.

"Don't ask Shoni my name! Shoni, you heard me? Don't tell her!" He yelled, shuffling inside the building.

Shoni didn't bat an eye towards him, focusing her attention on waving down another friend who was approaching where we stood. I think I was the only one who heard him.

DURING ◦ SUMMER 00

"What did you want me to do with these?" I asked, motioning toward the small stack of CDs. Instead of the normal glossy booklets that lived inside the jewel cases, most of them were simply white pieces of paper with words in black sharpie sprawled across them.