What Destiny Lies for Us (Esperanza Series #1)

Chapter 33

"How many cups in a day?"

Paano ko ba mame-measure 'yun? Halo-halo 'yung naiinom ko sa isang araw. May mga instant coffee sa office, may takeout pa sa cafe sa tabi, at may kape pa na tinitimpla ko sa apartment.

"Depende po e."

"Okay, I recommend you lessen it to one cup per day. Better kung talagang caffeine cessation na."

I didn't know whether that would be hard or easy for me. Noong college, minsanan lang naman 'yung inom ko. Pero noong nagtatrabaho na ako, unti-unti na kong naging caffeine-dependent lalo na sa kape.

This pregnancy really had me letting go of past ways.

Later that night, Maddox wanted us to watch a Marvel movie, then I agreed to it immediately. Free naman ako from my workload and wala naman akong gagawin besides reading, so I might as well pour that energy somewhere else.

Aside from the light from the TV, I noticed another light beside me. Magkatabi lang kami kaya napansin ko agad. Nagpho-phone lang naman 'tong isang 'to!

"Nanunuod ka pa ba?" I questioned.

He lifted his gaze to the screen then to me. Parang naligaw pa nga siya kung nasaan siya e. Nandito lang naman kami sa sala.

"Huh? Ah, oo. Nanunuod pa ako. Ayaw mo na ba?"

"No, I was watching... Ikaw 'yung distracted sa'ting dalawa. Ano bang ginagawa mo?"

"Ah, wala, wala."

He suddenly got all defensive. Nilayo pa niya 'yung phone niya sa'kin. Ang simple lang nung tanong ko.

"May kausap ka ba?"

"Kausap? Wala! 'Di ako interesado kumausap ng iba. Wala akong pakialam sa kanila. Subukan lang nila, 'di ko sila papansinin."

Well, a yes or no would have sufficed.

"We don't have to continue watching kung ako lang pala 'yung manunuod. I thought you wanted to watch it together."

"Gusto ko nga! May ginawa lang ako."

Was it that important for him not to watch the movie he asked me to watch with him?

Bago pa may kung anu-anong mga salita ang lumabas sa bibig ko, nanahimik na lang ako. His phone still wasn't locked and I unintentionally glanced at the screen.

Huh... He was searching up ways to cope with morning sickness... 'Yan lang ba ginagawa niya this entire time?

He shoved his phone into his pocket and repositioned himself comfortably to face the TV more.

"Okay... Hindi na talaga. Manunuod na talaga ako, Chai. Sorry dahil distracted ako kanina."

Inayos niya muli 'yung upo niya at pinatong sa may likuran ko 'yung braso niya. Hindi naman siya nakaakbay sa'kin... but it felt like he was.

I avoided any part of me touching his dangling hand. I wouldn't allow myself to. It was a dangerous line to cross.

Napatingin sa'kin si Maddox at nakanguso pa nga ang labi sa pagtataka. Kinalabit niya ako para mapukaw ang atensyon ko. Kakasabi ko lang e...

"Hindi ka na sumagot. Galit ka ba, Chai? Galit ka ba na hindi ako nanuod kanina?"

Umiling lang ako. I wasn't really mad but in some way, it affected me. Despite knowing he was distracted because he wanted to help me, I still felt unnoticed.

Siya naman 'tong nag-ayang manuod, bakit siya pa 'yung hindi nanunuod? E 'di sana hindi na lang siya nag-aya.

I wanted to yank all my hair out at that moment. Dapat nga na-touch pa ako e kasi para rin naman sa'kin kung bakit hindi siya nakanuod... pero pwede naman niya 'yun gawin nang ibang oras e! Bakit ngayon pa mismo? Ngayong dapat nanunuod kami.