▬▬ 𝘕𝘌𝘟𝘜𝘚 ♪ 𝘖𝘯𝘦𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 𓂃 ֶָ֢ ❞

[ 🎀 ] 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

“Jungkook ah? Please…”

“Hyung, no. There must be a reason. He must be sending me signals. Like he always did,” I muttered, looking down at the half empty cup. The wisps of the aroma were dead by then, just like the withering flowers at the start of autumn.

Yoongi hyung knew how stubborn I could be and I saw his internal dilemma, his loitering eyes, his warm puff of sighs. I could feel he was ready to burst but for the sake of the care he had for me stopped him.

Would he still love me, after all this? Would he?

Or just like the man I loved, hyung would blame me, say I am mad, say I am insane.

I witnessed his gravity-drawn shoulders paint a picture. A clear, concise one. A conflicting one. The soul welcomed a beat, but the heart didn’t. Neither did the mind acknowledge the need for it. I wanted to listen, to give him no more of a chance to sigh saying my name. But, it seemed worthless, just accepting the rise of new walls separating me from Taehyung.

One travels forth after loss of great love, great love of life, his love.
He perished to the greed of another before his very eyes.
He travels through the darkness of death.
Seeing his face in the mist of rain.

“Jungkook? Talk to me, Jungkook-”

Travelling through the darkness of his sorrow. He sees the light. He makes the effort to make way only to be pulled back by the loss of love and the laughter of death.

For he cannot find the truth in the rage and sadness. And now he travels the roads not for new love, but for new truth and new meaning. And he will always feel his pain in his own dark sorrow.

“Hyung, I killed him.”

Yoongi looked at me like he’d seen me breaking down hysterically, his eyes wide, his palms hovering over my shoulders, wanting to comfort me. “Jungkook, do you even hear yourself?”

“I-I do, h-hyung. And he w-wanted to die, to sleep. He said he couldn’t live with hating me, he couldn’t sieve my soul and build a high sanity, a man of morals. He said I was beyond the world and all the tragedies. He said I was enough to burn the sweltering hell.”

“Jungkook, stop it…” Yoongi sighed trying to brush stray strands of his hair away. “I know you always found yourself as the main cause of his death. That’s because you loved him. But, no, Jungkook. We all know what happened.”

“No!”

“Jungkook!” It had been rare that hyung ever raised his voice. But he did. He did, then. “Please Jungkook. Listen to me. It’s-”

“No, you listen to me! He said he wanted to sleep, and I helped him. I helped him while he laid on the bed, struggling to go to sleep.” I sighed, rubbed my eyes and continued, “I helped him go into an eternal slumber. I did.”

My ears turned warm as the words struck against my mind again, the memories serrated enough to rip a hole through my heart that had been stitched back more than just a few times. And every time a new stitch formed, the more knotted my stomach became.

I could see hyung dodge his mind and body sway, sway his head, and his sane mind went blurry. I knew he was scared. Of me. Of his own little brother.