Happy October 4th

October 4th

"As impatient as ever," he laughs a little. "That's my Aki."

"Sh-shut up, you idiot," I say, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Don't tell me anything."

"What?"

"I know, Aki," he smiles. "I love you, too."

"Shinji..."

He raises his hand in the air for me to latch onto.

"You showed me what it's like to live again. I'll never forget that," he breathes harshly.

"Please... Don't go," I whisper.

"Take care of him, Aki," he motions over to Ken, who is still shivering with shock.

"I will," I promise.

"This is how it should be."

Then his body goes limp, and his hand's grip loosens from mine.

"Is he...?" Junpei says, quietly.

Nobody replies.

Still, I don't let go of his hand. He's dead. Why did he have to die?! Why him?! It's all bullshit! He made a stupid mistake, and he had to pay the price for it! Dammit, Shinji! Why didn't you stay with me?!

"A-Aragaki-san..." Ken trembles.

"Ken," Makoto tries to sooth him.

"No," he weeps. "This isn't fair!!" He screams. "It shouldn't have ended like this! Why...?!"

"Ken-kun." Yukari wraps her arms around the boy, holding him close as he sniffles into her shoulder.

"Akihiko," Mitsuru says quietly.

"I'm fine."

But I'm far from fine. I could have helped him, for god's sake! We could have prevented all of this! Dammit... If only we remembered what today actually was.

All Ken wanted was revenge. And now he's got it. So why isn't he happy? Why isn't this what he wanted?

"Lots of Shadows are beginning to gather around," Fuuka mentions, summoning her Persona.

"Let them come," I spit. "I ain't leaving this spot."

"Don't be ridiculous, Akihiko," Mitsuru scolds me. "You'll be dead if you stay here."

"Would that be so bad?" I sigh.

"You don't mean that, Senpai..." Junpei frowns.

"I just can't believe he's gone," I whimper.

"I know how you feel," Yukari begins, taking herself away from Ken.

"You don't know shit about how I feel," I growl.

"Cut it out, Akihiko!" Mitsuru yells.

"Sanada-san..." Ken walks toward me slowly.

"...What is it, Ken?" I force out.

"I never meant for any of this to happen..." He whispers. "I... I didn't want Aragaki-san to..."

"It's over now, Ken," I sigh.

"I'm so sorry, Sanada-san..."

"It wasn't your fault, Ken," Fuuka pipes up.

"How do you know?" I scoff. "That was your plan all along, wasn't it, Ken?"

"I- I don't know what you mean..." He shakes.

"You wanted him dead after finding out what he did all those years ago."

"...Maybe I did. But I didn't want him to actually die!"

"So what did you want?"

"I... don't know," he frowns. "I wanted to feel like I avenged Mom, but... I don't feel fulfilled."

I lower my voice. "Killing someone isn't supposed to make you feel fulfilled. Even if it is for revenge."

"I know that now," he sighs. "Sanada-san? Do you hate me?"

I shake my head, releasing Shinji's hand from my own. "No, Ken. I don't."

"...Really?"

"Maybe Shinji's death was a wake up call for us all. Telling us we shouldn't live in a depression."

"That's a good way of thinking about it," Yukari smiles a little.

"And... maybe him dying was for the best. He was obviously suffering from those drugs that group gave him..."

"He'll be okay," Mitsuru assures me. "You know how resilient he is." She lets out a small chuckle.

"You're right," I sigh, smiling. "It's better for him up there, anyway. That's why we have to end the Dark Hour. For Shinji."

"Agreed," Aigis nods.

"He'd be proud of you, Senpai," Junpei grins.

"Yeah," I nod. "I hope so."

"What are we gonna do about the body...?" Yukari asks.

"If we leave him here, it'll just look like he had apathy syndrome," Fuuka frowns.

"What, with a bullet hole in his chest?" Makoto sighs.

"You guys go ahead," I say. "Get back to the dorms, and get to bed."

"What about you, Senpai?" Yukari says.

"I just wanna be alone with him for a bit."

"I see," Mitsuru nods, as she leads the SEES team away.

Alone at last. Alone with him. God, I wish we had more time. I wish he never left after that incident. Maybe then none of this would have happened.

But it's over now. And I promised him I'd look after Ken. Sheesh, why's he so careless? He let himself get dragged into this shit. Why couldn't he have thought of me for once?

"I'm gonna miss you, Shinji," I sigh, standing up. "You know that."

But his body gives no response. It breaks my heart seeing him lifeless on the ground.

He knew the consequences of suppressing his Persona. Maybe this was secretly what he wanted.

"Dammit," I smile a little. "You idiot. Now I won't stop crying over you. Fuck you, Shinji," I chuckle slightly through wet eyes. "I'll keep my promise to you," I tell him. "And I'll graduate in March, just how you were supposed to. And you'll never leave my mind, you know?"

I bend down to lay his hands over his chest. "You really were one in a million."

~~~

Sorry for a short one-shot type of story. This was just for 4th October, which was the day Shinji died in Persona 3. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed:).

word count: 1394