𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒 ; 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛

the car song

"Simon?" I ask.

"Oh, nice soup." Johnny says as he looks at what mum's cooking.

"Simon?" Mum asks.

"Yes." Johnny sighs. I chuckle.

"Her boyfriend?" I ask as I raise my eyebrows.

"Shut up." Johnny orders.

"Definitely sleeping together!" Adam jokes making me laugh.

"At least I've got a girlfriend." Johnny says.

"True." Mum says.

"Who you share with another man." Adam says.

"Also true." I point out. Johnny picks up the butter knife and spreads butter all over Adams hand as dad comes in and picks up his magnifying glass.

"Excuse me." He says before leaving.

-

WE ALL SIT at the table, eating our dinner in silence until mum notices dad with his hand in his mouth. "Ah, gotcha!" He says.

I furrow my eyebrows and look at dad in disgust. "Are you trying to deepthroat your own hand?" I ask.

"What?" Dad asks making me roll my eyes.

"Doesn't matter." I shake my head.

"This is amazing, mum." Adam compliments mum.

"Thanks, darling." Mum smiles.

"Very nice, Jackie. Lovely bit of squirrel." Dad laughs.

"So, you like my hair then?" Mum asks the boys.

"Yeah." Johnny smiles.

"Yep." Adam says as he continues to eat. All mum has been able to talk about today is her bloody hair and quitw frankly, it's annoying.

"I had it done." Mum says proudly.

"Your mother had her hair done." Dad says.

"We know." I say as I eat.

"Yeah, she had a flaky scalp." Dad says.

"Martin!" Mum scolds.

"Oh, dad!" Adam complains. Everyone stops eating but I continue.

"What?" Dad asks.

"Thanks for telling them!" Mum whines.

"It's not in the food, is it?" Johnny asks as he picks at his food.

"Thank you very much." Mum says before getting up. "I'll get some more ketchup, then, shall I?" Mum asks as she leaves the dining room.

"Nice one, dad." Adam says.

"Yeah, but I found the flakes!" Dad says.

"So, dad, you, um, you hurt your knee?" Johnny asks making me chuckle.

"My what?" Dad asks.