HEARTFIRST (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader)

Bonus Chapter: "Muscle Memory"

It's been years since he's been in your apartment– so why does he look so natural there?

"Yours was a smart move," he whispers, following you into your bedroom, stopping just under the doorframe. He watches you slip off your jacket and flick on the lights. A golden hue fills the room, casting your shadow across the walls as you spin around. When your eyes settle on him, you shake your head, laughing to yourself at the sight of him leant against the doorframe. His fingers grip the top of the door, his torso long, a strip of stomach visible underneath his t-shirt. For a moment, you see him standing there the way he was two years ago, his hair just a shade darker, not yet tinted by the San Diego sun. His smile is the same now, lopsided and charming as he watches you.

Shaking your head, you clear your mind of the past images of him, focusing on the now. The quick, rhythmic pounding of your heart in your chest keeps you tethered to reality as you drink in the sight of him.

"You think so?"

He nods, slipping out from underneath the door frame, closing the space between you in one large step. One arm slides behind your back, pushing you into him whilst the other hand cups your cheek, his thumb running across your cheek and over your lips. A breath catches in the back of your throat as his hand moves from the small of your back down to your ass, resting there just under the waistband of your jeans. It's not something Bradley thinks about, not a calculated move, but rather a subconscious act, one he's done before. One he knows works. One he hadn't realized he'd been so desperate to recreate.

"Mhmm," he sighs, leaning in to press an open mouthed kiss to your neck. As his wet, silken lips make contact with the vein just under your chin, your eyes falter shut and you send a silent prayer upwards, hoping he can't feel the erratic pace of your pulse. Bradley chuckles lightly under his breath as your knees buckle beneath you, melting into him, it's all so typical of you. You can't help it.

"I missed this. You. Your room. Us, in your room."

Bradley's words buzz in your mind as his hands map your body, his lips suddenly everywhere. Your skin is on fire underneath his touch; any thought you could have dissipates the moment your head hits the pillow. Then, you're kissing him again, wanting nothing more and nothing less. He sheds his jacket and the feeling of his skin against yours is heavenly – you'd forgotten the what the weight of his body against yours felt like in your time apart. As he holds you, you take notice of how much stronger his arms had become.

Before you can process, clothes are strewn across the floor, and the feeling of warm flesh is against yours – caressing, stroking, pleasing.

Seeing Bradley in your bed again should be shocking. At least, you thought it would be – it's been years and you'd finally forgotten the shape of him under your sheets. But here he is, his brown eyes glistening under the dim light of the bedroom, his cheeks flushed red as you return from the bathroom, padding across the carpet. You can feel his eyes on you as you tug on a t-shirt, the cotton fabric swallowing you. He raises an eyebrow and runs his hand over the empty space next to him and rather than fight it – rather than ask him to leave or press him for answers about what you two are now – you oblige, crawling across the bed back to him.

As you approach, he reaches out and pulls you onto his chest. The feeling of his hands on either side of your torso sends you back into your head, your eyes falling shut as he wraps his arms around you. It's no different than all of the times before. The subtle rise and fall of his chest is just the same as it was the first night you spent together, or all of those intoxicating nights in between then and your very last time with him.

Muscle memory, you remind yourself. Every other time with Bradley was love, but not this time, no. It was just sex: the unavoidable reunion of two bodies that have too much history to ignore each other. Bodies that know their chemistry. Bodies that are so clearly disconnected from their minds, because someone smarter – someone more in tune with themselves and their wellbeing – wouldn't go back down this road. It's not just you, it's Bradley too. You can't blame your bodies, though, they fit so well together and feel so good, it's hard to accept that they can't be together anymore. If only it were your bodies alone: no minds, no emotions, no outside influences.

Despite it all, it would be a lie if you said you weren't aching to touch him, too. Now whether that ache is something current, or history your body and mind simply refuse to forget, is another question. Whatever it is, it's strong. If it was easy to kick, you would have been able to leave him back at the bar. But Bradley's always been irresistible to you, always brought you joy, even with all the times he's broken you. Tonight was no different.

You expel a breath, sending all of those thoughts away, and Bradley hums lightly, taking a deep breath, causing you to rise and fall with his chest.

With your head resting on his chest, close enough to hear the quick pace of his heart, one hand travels up behind his neck entangling in the ends of his hair while the other moves up to touch his lips.

"Can I help you?" he asks quietly, his lips moving against your fingertips. They're soft and plump. You'd felt his lips on yours hundreds of times, but for some reason his lips moving against your fingers feels more intimate. He kisses your hand lazily. You laugh and so does he, the room falling silent again.

What does he think of this, the intimacy between you now, the lack of urgency to separate? About the potential for more?

You brush your fingers along the outline of his lips and down his chin, then back up again, but this time he catches your finger between his lips. Your breath catches in your throat as he takes your finger between his teeth, sucking lightly. His hands, previously just resting on the curve of your backside, are suddenly grasping at your ass and thighs, his fingers sinking into your skin.

A shaky breath leaves your lips as you take your finger from his mouth, trailing it down his chin, across the valley of his stomach and under the waistband of his boxers. He groans and bites his lip sighing deeply, flipping the two of you over before you're able to go much further. He had a thing about being in control, he took pride in what he was able to do, just for you. The sight of him above you, light brown hair wild and unkempt is almost enough to send you over the edge. Unbelievably beautiful, in a way. Fuck, you missed this. Missed him. You want it to just be your body craving his, but it's more than that: it's you craving him. Shit.

"Bradley," you start, but you're cut off – his lips against yours, wet and rough. His body is heavy on top of yours, his legs tangling with yours as you deepen the kiss, wanting his all-encompassing attention. You pull him into you but he pulls away, his eyes raking over your body – your shirt wrinkled by his actions.

"Don't know why you bothered with this in the first place," he huffs.

His hands work quickly, desperate to see you without. It had been too long. Well, it had only been about twenty minutes, but he'd been secretly hoping for a moment like this – to see you like this again – since the moment you ended. You sigh as his hands slide the shirt off, roaming your bare skin again. His hands run across your chest, down your torso, as his lips kiss down your neck.

You don't question the second round as it happens, allowing yourself to be selfish, pushing all shameful thoughts away with each rolling wave of pleasure washing over your body. No one speaks as it ends either. Breathless pants fill the quiet room where your bodies lay intertwined. It's not a mistake, not to you and not for Bradley: not tonight.

...

A/N: Wow, so I didn't think I'd ever really update this, but I've been inspired to write more for these characters & this universe. So here's a little bonus chapter exploring more of Rooster and reader's feelings for one another, describing what would have been going on in their heads if they would have gone home together in the end of chapter 5. I long contemplated writing smut for this blurb, but it just didn't feel right, so I focused more on the emotional side of sleeping with an ex (bc it's lowkey timely for me rn & this fic has always been a little bit of therapy for me). Anywho, SURPRISE!!! I hope you all enjoy this little expansion on our story <3 I have more ideas that I'm hoping to write soon <3333