Wow... I have not written here in awhile. Sorry for all of the worries I made you all suffer through, I was dealing with alot of Anxiety and Depression and it was far too much for me to handle alone. Lets go back a little, say 5-7 months back.
So I was wondering about my love life and this is where the Anxiety came in; I asked out a girl for the 1st time in 2 two year's and it came back as a no. Yes I know it's stupid and childish but I was determined to get one. Sadly because of that rejection I went through it kind of gave me alot of Anxiety and I was extremely worried about it. And so day after day I'd make friendships to people who always tend to look at me with such cute faces I thought that they may have had a crush on me...wrong, they all just wanted to be my friend and it just hurt my heart far too much. I was in school as well and had alot of ups-and-downs and those ups were the friends I made... the downs you guessed it Depression.
Depression was something I wasn't at all used to, I thought of all the scenarios of wanting to be loved by someone other than my family and they are all better than what I got. And so, Anxiety and Depression hit me and hit my grades which surprisingly went up? I know sounds weird but I'm not gonna go through that crap again. I had alot of things to do and after a few days ago I said "Fuck Life, Fuck Love and Fuck Depression." I decided to wait until I'm actually quote unquote "Built different" once I had a body physique of a greek god, and so that's what I did.
Now it's a little hard to explain; I started hanging out with a majority of my old friend's and actually enjoying life again. But I didn't stop there. Oh no no no. I've been working out taking late and early runs before and after school and I must say I was shocked when I looked in the mirror; the once scrawny and anti-social teenager turned into a potent of salt reaching every area (not the ones you think of) of my body in a mere months.
Now I know that I shouldn't of done a long hiatus but my mental health was not the best so it only made sense to leave all of my active media platforms. When I left and came back I saw all the wonderful comments on my stories and it just felt so heartwarming that so many people are looking forward to more of my book's, but I must say- after a long hiatus and to look back at the stories I wrote and are still busy with; I decided to actually make the chapter's of my book's better and have a more narrative manner.
Well I've got alot of time now considering that I'm off for 2 months, but I was thinking for when I hit idk how much bcs I'm writing this on a small vacation to my cousins place with no internet, I'll probably show you all the changes I've been through. But only when I see how far we are from reaching a "goal?" But anyways, it is so good to see all my supporters and friends looking back at me and hope that I'm doing well.
Thank you everyone and I will see you all next time once I reach my cousin' place!
See ya next time peace! Bye guys!
