Of Dreams & Soulmates

1

Sabi nila, when it rains – it pours, and I'm ineffably sad to admit that its true.

Kakabalik ko lang sa dorm ko after this dreadful Statistics Prelim Exam, and I feel like I fail BIG TIME. Yep, unfortunately, with the caps lock. I was supposed to destress by watching Extraordinary Attorney Woo (Kang Tae Oh ftw!) but then I decided na sumilip sandali sa Twitter – there I saw an issue circulating in the A'TIN fandom. I scrolled and read every tweet about it, not knowing that I am digging my own grave.

@mahalkosistell so ito na ang chismis mga beh, mainit-init pa: May jewa si Stell!!!! #StellWhySoUngrateful

@akinsistell patingin naman nung girl! Paano niyo nalaman? #StellWhySoUngrateful

@mahalkositell apparently, some A'TIN saw them dating and walking sa Solenad, holding hands! Ito sila oh. #StellWhySoUngrateful

@1234stell_ grabe, chaka naman nung girl! Hindi pa sexy. #StellWhySoUngrateful

@jtjtjt16 papayag ba tayo guys, na kung kanino lang mapunta si Stell? Dahil sa atin, kaya 'yan sumikat. #StellWhySoUngrateful

@stellhottie schoolmate yan ng pinsan ko, hindi naman yata yan smart. Bakit ayan pinili niya? #StellWhySoUngrateful

To be honest, wala pa sa kalahati 'yung comments and tweets na nabasa ko pero grabeng panghihina na ang nararamdaman ko. Masakit palang mahusgahan ng ibang tao, lalo na sa mga taong walang alam at walang kwenta ang basis ng judgment nila. I know that someday, this kind of issues will happen – sobrang sikat ba naman na tao ang boyfriend ko. I know the consequences of my choices, I just did not expect na ganito iyon ka-extreme.

God knows how much I am so composed, so calm, and how I play things cool. But with this, kahit nakakaisang oras at kalahati na akong umiiyak, pilit na ikino-compartmentalized ang lahat ng emotions, I just can't accept all of those shit comments.

I was actually waiting for Stellvester's call, but it took him the morning after to visit me here in the university. Naglalakad na ako pabalik ng dorm nung natanaw ko siyang hinihintay ako sa may parking lot, with his very poging brown Wrangler.

Lumapit naman ako agad, leaving a few steps from him, takot ako na baka masapak ko siya sa sobrang mixed and overflowing bad emotions ko since yesterday.

"Tapos na klase mo?"

"Uh, yep, 1PM ang uwian ng class ko every MW, 'di ba?" Naiilang ako sa kanya, kaya sa mga estudyanteng dumadaan sa hallway ang tinanaw ko para maiwasan ko ang mga mata niya. I can sense na kinakabahan siya, katulad ko, pero ramdam ko ang paninitig niya sa akin.

"Are you okay?" Huminga siya ng malalim. "I know you happen to see the issue circulating on Twitter last night, nakita kong may na-like kang isang tweet. Okay ka lang ba? Okay lang ba tayo?"

Tinignan ko siya at tipid na ngumiti.

"Sa true lang, nasaktan ako sa mga nabasa ko. Sumabay pa sa Stats Exam na feeling ko bagsak ako. Learn mo naman 'yun e." Sumimangot siya, inabot ang kamay ko at pinisil ito. "Pero learn din naman natin na may ganitong sitwasyon na mangyayari."

Hinila niya ako lalo para magkalapit kaming dalawa.

"Sorry talaga, Clara. Susubukan ko if kayang ayusin ito ng management."

Of course, the calm and composed Clara, who loves to play everything cool just smiled, kahit na overnight niya iniyakan 'yang issue na 'yan.

"Okay lang talaga, Stell. No need of clearing things up, as if we can go back and edit out all those tweets."

Bumuntong-hininga siya, "I promise, everything will be okay. I won't let things like this happen again. I love you so much."