Going Against Biology - Kawoshin

You Can (Not) Avoid Him Forever

Desperately trying to rid his thoughts of the new boy and instead trying to fill it with chemistry, Shinji was struggling. The past 30 minutes had dragged on and on, unrelenting. Misato had gone astray from the lesson talking about the chemical miracles in our everyday lives.

Class, which was already tiring, became even worse. Shinji tilted his head, tuning out Misato's garbling, and looked out the window. The sky was dull and gray, the leaves all sorts of warm colors, providing a nice contrast.

The gray cloud cover was a nice backdrop to the cheerful, saturated colors. They go well together, Shinji thought wistfully, just like how maybe me and -

No. He shook his head in frustration, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to blank his mind. Stop thinking about him. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it -

Shinji opened his eyes to the whole class staring at him, Kaworu included.

He had a look of curiosity on his face. Once they made eye contact, Kaworu looked as though he was trying to suppress a smile.

Shinji's horror must have been apparent, because the whole class laughed. He flushed red and looked bashfully up at Misato. "Shinji, as I was trying to ask you, what are ionic bonds?"

Being put on the spot, naturally, Shinji's brain ceased to function as usual. "Um," he muttered. "I don't know."

Misato sighed in exasperation and looked around the class, her lips pursed in disappointment. Shinji felt ashamed. "Does anyone want to help him out?" Misato asked.

A pale hand rose in the air, belonging to none other than Kaworu Nagisa. "Aren't ionic bonds magnetic? Like an attraction," he looked behind him to Shinji's flushed face. "Between positive and negative ions?" he asked, unsure of his answer.

He was still staring. "Good job, Nagisa," Misato crooned. He seemed to have realized he was staring and hurriedly looked to the front of the classroom. The dismissal bell rang, and Shinji began to stare off into space, his face still uncomfortably heated. 

This heat began to turn into anger inside Shinji's heart. That Kaworu boy was making fun of me, wasn't he? I, of all people, considering who my father is, should know the answer. I should already know everything in this damn class. So what's the deal?! Why did that stupid silver hair have to show me up, huh?! Why did he have to make me look bad? Why did -

Shinji's angry thoughts were interrupted by a tap on his desk. Purple-haired Misato was looking at him, a little exhausted. "Shinji, what's up with you today?"

"I don't know, but please don't tell my dad . . ." Shinji started, growing nervous.

"Hey, no, I won't. Don't worry," she put her hand on top of his head, gently mussing his hair. "Just wanted to make sure you're doing okay."

She walked out of the classroom and Shinji realized everyone had left. His notebook and pens were still out on his desk, while the halls were beginning to empty.

He gathered his things, accidentally rolling a pen off with a clatter to the ground. Shinji stared at it for a moment before hot tears began to spring up on him. What the hell . . . he thought to himself, wiping his eyes with his wrist. When he bent to pick up the pen, he touched the same warm, comforting hand he had earlier. He jumped.

Kaworu was crouched down, one of his knees on the ground, holding the pencil up to Shinji's hand. "Here," he smiled.

Shinji realized Kaworu could probably see his swelling eyes and overall redness. He grabbed his bag and snatched the pen from Kaworu's hand, careful not to touch him. "Thanks," he muttered without looking back, extremely embarrassed. He left the classroom quickly, trying to make his way to the bathroom to calm down.