Can't be too loud, and can't be too busy

Another day, more getting told to shut up or quiet down when I talk. I wanted to hang out with my sister today, but my friends wanted to hang out. I told them I can't hang out with them, once again they make me the bad guy and guilt trip me into hanging out with them anyways.

If I don't answer now, are they still going to miss me?

My friends were all texting each other in the group chat I was in, not even talking to me. I texted the group chat and said "If you guys aren't going to talk to me in the group chat that I'm in, then text each other in your not-so-secret group chat that I'm not in. I'm tired of hearing my phone ding and none of the messages being for me."

Can't be too loud, can't be too busy

Another day, more getting told to shut up or quiet down when I talk. I wanted to hang out with my dad today, but my friends wanted to hang out. I told them I can't hang out with them, they made me the bad guy and tried to guilt trip me into hanging out with them anyways. I didn't give in. I told them that I have other things that are more important to do.

If I don't answer now, are they still going to need me?

I was helping my sister with her homework, so I wasn't paying attention to my phone. When I finished, I checked my notifications and see 2 texts and a missed call from one of my friends. The first one was asking if what dress she should wear to the dance, then the missed call, then she said that she talked to someone else and said I'm no help. I texted her back and told her that helping my sister is more important than picking out a dress for some stupid dance.

Can't be too proud, can't think I'm pretty

I wore a tank top dress that went just above my knees and a cardigan. It was a dress that hugged my body because of the material it was made from. A girl called me a whore that is begging for attention from the boys. I told her that I was finally confident enough in my body to wear it. And that she dresses in clothes more revealing than mine, so I asked what that says about herself. She was standing there, not saying a word, so I walked off like the bad bitch I am.

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

I was hanging with my "friends", and they were all talking about their flaws or things they wish they could change about themselves. They asked me what I would change about myself, I said "nothing". They didn't believe me, they said that there was surely something I would change. I answered honestly and told them that I would change my friends. I told them everything I knew that they did "secretly".

Life of the fat, funny, friend
Life of the fat, funny, friend
Life of the fat, funny, friend
Life of the fat, funny, friend

That is how I used to see myself. The fat friend, the friend that was only around to make jokes and cheer people up. Not anymore. I am confident in my body; I am confident in myself.

I've drawn out in Sharpie where I'd take the scissors

I stopped self-harming. If I ever get the urge to, I take the hair tie that is on my wrist and lift it up then let it go, letting it hit my skin. I was told that this is a better way to cope, better than cutting or harming myself.

--------------------------------------------------

a/n: THIS IS SERIOUS STUFF!! THIS IS PARTIALLY TO RAISE AWARENESS!! IF YOU THINK OF DOING ANYTHING, PLEASE CALL/TEXT ONE OF THESE NUMBERS:

US:

Crisis Text Line: 741741

Youthline: text "teen2teen" to 839863

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project (for LGBTQIA+ youth): 1-866-488-8255

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

Sexual Assault: 800-656-4673

NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) Helpline: 1-800-931-2237

Teenline: text "TEEN" to 839863

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Post-Abortion Hotline/Pro-voice: 1-866-439-4253

Pregnancy Hotline: 1-800-467-8466

Post-Partum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS

Kids Helpline: 1-800-551-800

Depression: 1-615-465-4875

Anxiety: 1-615-465 4875

Anorexia: 1-866-235-4572

Mental Health: 800-662-4357

National Alliance for the Mentally ill: 1-800-950-6264

Self-Harm Beyond Blue: 1-800-3668-288

National Mental Health Association Information Centre: 1-800-969-6642

End Abuse Domestic Assault line: 1-800-END-ABUSE

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Suicide Prevention Centre: (310) 391 11253

Samaritans: Boston, Massachusetts – (617) 274-0220

Samaritans: Rhode Island - (401) 272-4044

Samaritans: New York - (212) 673-3000


UK:

Shout: text "shout" to 85258

Samaritans: 116 123

Childline: 0800 1111

Abuse Not: 0808 8005015

Brook Young People's Information Service: 800 0185023

Eating Disorder Support: 01494 793223

Anxiety UK: 0844 477 5574 OR 03444 775 774

Depression Alliance: 0845 123 23 20

Rape Crisis Centre: 01708 765200

Rape/Sexual Assault Female: 0808 8000 123

Rape/Sexual Assault Male: 0808 800 122

Miscarriage Association: 01924 200799

LLGS Helpline (LGBTQIA+): 0300 330 0630

Sexuality Support: 01708 765200

Bereavement: 0800 9177 416

Runaway/Homeless: 0808 800 70 70

CareConfidential Pregnancy/Post-Abortion: 0800 028 2228

Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247 OR 0345 023 468

National AIDS Helpline: 0800 567 123


a/n: these are the numbers I found in my research. My wattpad dms are open and so are my tiktok dms. My tiktok is: marvelxdcstuff

sorry this is so long

random imagines (requests are open)Where stories live. Discover now