HEARTFIRST (Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader)

8.

"I figured you wouldn't want to see me after last night."

"I admit, it's a little harder to recognize you without that blonde woman all over you." The words feel like venom on your tongue and you watch them cut him, his lips flattening into a thin line. Restraint is difficult for you today, it seems. You sigh, not quite regretting the words, but not proud of them, either.

"Okay, I deserve that." He shifts his weight from one foot to another, crossing and then uncrossing his arms in the same breath. He sighs, running a hand roughly along his jawline. The action is familiar to you, a physical manifestation of his discontent. "You're mad. I get it, I don't expect you to forgive me."

"I can never stay mad at you, Bradley, that's the problem." It's quiet for a moment, crickets chirping loudly in the distant night. You watch as Bradley's face softens as he takes in your words, a wave of relief washing over him. You're not finished, though. Taking a breath, you gain the courage to continue. "Why'd you do it?"

"I don't know."

"Bradley," you breathe, shaking your head. "You have to be honest with me. I mean, we have to be honest with each other now. Please."

He sucks in a breath, his eyes dropping to the floor. "She works there – at the Hard Deck. We've flirted a handful of times over the years and she came onto me last night. I didn't push her away because I was scared."

"Scared?"

He nods. "And upset."

You look at him as he reconnects his eyes with yours, confusion apparent in your gaze.

Sighing, he continues. "Scared to get close to you again because of this mission. I don't know what's gonna happen out there. If I get picked, I don't know if I'll come back."

You choke on your breath, the air hitching in your throat. The gravity of the situation hits you, knocking at your chest, but you remain standing in your place, curious to hear him out. He watches you intently, his eyes softening as he sees the realization hit you.

"Upset because," he begins, "because I saw you with Hangman."

"Bradley, I-"

"Not just last night. I saw you the first night, kissing him, before you knew I was here. You looked happy, care-free. I hadn't seen you like that in a long time, so I left you alone. I thought, maybe, I could let you be happy, you know, let you have your fun. And then we ran into each other the next night and I then knew I couldn't."

You're not sure what to say, but thankfully Bradley continues on.

"And then he kept looking at you."

"Hangman?"

Bradley just nods.

"And that bothered you?"

"Still does... but then you smile back at him," he says, "and I know I'm just fucking everything up and pushing you away, pushing you into him, but I don't know what to do."

A tinge of pain strikes your chest hearing him reference exactly what Hangman said to him earlier in the day. He'd clearly taken it to heart, just as you suspected. A feeling of guilt follows, knowing you heard everything.

You take a step into him, curious to see if he'll move. To your surprise, he does, taking a step towards you, too. Your heart thumps loudly against your chest as you pull him in for an embrace, wrapping your arms around his middle, your hand rubbing his back, working to soothe him. He relaxes under your touch, exhaling a heavy breath. Your head fits perfectly under the curve of his chin, his head resting in the soft nest of your hair.