Giving you control.

Chapter 13.

(Baraka's P.O.V)
Falling feels like an endless dream, where I spin and turn and leap in the air, yet my eyes can only see the vast blue of endless sky as my body obeys the law of gravity.

I begin to have doubts, to think of possibilities I hadn't thought about before in that moment. What if am too weak to save her by myself? What if my being here puts her at a greater risk instead? If something were to go wrong, would I ever see my mama or Doctor John again?

Would I give Mika her life back? The more I torment myself with doubts, the faster I accelerate towards the ground.

You have to believe.  I have to believe. I remember now, as the words echo within me.

"Or else it's only a dream." I murmur, then take a deep breath.

I suddenly come to a halt, as if horizontally suspended mid-air, but when I look down, my feet are just a few inches from a green grass plain. I let myself land softly, then I turn to look around my surroundings.

The cliff where I fell from is no longer in sight, instead, the grass plain extends into a land garden straight from a fairy tale. The sky above, with its bizarre colours and stars that appear to be falling, seems to be enclosing in on me the more I stayed glued to the spot. I'm not in our world anymore, so I start running.

There's a current under my feet that's pushing me forward and giving me direction, and having been here in my dreams, I am familiar with the way.

It's all like a dream, one minute am barefoot speeding down a slope of flower beds, the next I can see myself above trees, diving back below as tiny creatures that resemble grasshoppers with colourful massive wings curiously follow me, and then am ascending the stream that goes upwards, before finally getting to a stream where I slow down and switch to walking.

This is where I saw her before? I recall. She was right here earlier, in my dream.

"Mika." I yell at the top of my lungs. My voice echoes in a musical wave-like way.

"Mika!" I yell again, this time I feel as though every living thing, including plants and shadows turns towards me, recognizing me, as someone who shouldn't be here yet, but am not afraid.

"Mika!"

I think I feel the earth crack under my feet. 
......

(Mika's P.O.V)
I don't know when it started, when my thoughts began twisting and faking shape on their own, but I couldn't control them.

First I lost my father at a young age to an avoidable accident, I think I was ten, and up to date, it is still hard for me to comprehend. Everyone expected me to move on from it, to accept their condolences, to heal and move on. No one worried about my fears, like - what if I forget him, what if I never even knew him in the first place?

My father wasn't a loud person, but he never made me feel lonely. He always took care of me when I was sad. He defended me when mom was being unreasonable, and stood at the door to my room each night to watch me sleep.

Yet when he was gone, I longed for him so much. But there was no one to talk to about my dad, I didn't want to in fact, what if I start to forget when I say the words out loud.

There were moments I was happy, and moments I would be overcome with waves of emotions I cannot control. I liked being with Katana and Gloria, I tried to be a good sister to my siblings, I avoided making my mum erupt with anger, I had dreams to be a successful person one day, to see the city, maybe then I'd feel happy?

My grandma was like my guardian angel, how could such a warm person exist? She was so wise and her stories were always so otherworldly and entertaining. Being with her made me forget everything, I could laugh with her, and I could move forward another day. Yet once again, someone I cared about was taken from me.