Still Holding On

Chapter 19

Tony scoffs. "And at no point did you think 'Hey, maybe I should move him off of me?'"

Loki shrugs sheepishly. "I thought I would let you sleep. You seemed tired."

Well, next time, don't.

Tony catches himself before he says it. There's not supposed to be a next time. Loki seems fine. There's no reason Thor shouldn't waltz right in here right now to take his brother home. By the end of the day at least, he expects to be sending Loki off to Asgard — and hopefully to some kind of salvation.

And there's that little nagging reminder in the back of his brain. He might be sending Loki off to his death. He hates that. And knowing what he does, however little it is, he's not sure he could go through with it. He's not sure he could let Loki take the punishment for something he didn't want to do. Not when he's already punishing himself for it.

Tony lets out a long breath. That's a battle for later, whenever Thor comes back. There are other things to focus on right now. "How'd you sleep?"

"The best I have in a long time," Loki answers.

"No more nightmares?" Tony asks.

"I do not mind nightmares," Loki tells him. "But that was all they were. Nothing real."

"It's never real," Tony reminds him. "That's what a nightmare is. It's fake. It's all in your head."

Loki just shakes his head. "Not those."

Tony frowns, but he's already learned that this is a battle he can't win, so he doesn't even try. Moving on to a different subject, he asks, "How's your head?"

"Alright," Loki says."Merely a dull ache now. It's become easy to ignore."

"That's a good sign," Tony remarks. "You hungry?"

Loki cracks a smile at that. "Starved."

"Good," Tony says. He arches his back, stretching it out before he climbs out of bed. "I'm thinking muffins. You like muffins?"

"I do like muffins," Loki says.

"Alright, we're having muffins," Tony declares. He'll go back to normal, boring breakfasts once Loki goes back to Asgard. As long as he has company, he's using it as an excuse to ignore his boxes of cereal.

They head to the kitchen together, and the few times he glances back at Loki, he seems to be in fairly high spirits. It's nice to see.

Tony assumes Loki will sit down when they get to the kitchen, but instead, he watches as Tony pulls out the recipe book — a gift from Pepper, and one he very much appreciates — and flips through until he finds the muffin page. He should have told Pepper to bring him blueberries yesterday. Chocolate chip muffins are better in theory, but they always end up so dry. He should google if there's a way to fix that one day.

He scans the ingredients list, then starts pulling things out. Crisco; sugar; baking soda; flour; salt. He's getting good at finding things. He feels like he's lived here forever. He can hardly believe this is still a relatively new tower.

As he's mixing everything together, Loki says, "You're good at this."

Tony raises a brow. "Good at making muffins?"

"Yes."

Tony huffs a laugh. "They're just muffins. It's not that hard." He looks over at the god. "What, you've never made muffins before?"

"Princes are not usually allowed in the kitchen," Loki tells him.

"Oh, please." Tony rolls his eyes. "You're a prince. Who's gonna tell you no?"