Gateway Drug | Volume II

GD: Volume II | Part One

It helped me out that his family wanted to be as involved as they could be, two of his sisters coming to stay a couple weeks after he was born, his mother as well. Even Matt, who I had possibly dreaded seeing the most being that he was well aware that we had been fooling around long before anyone else knew — and had even warned Duff of this kinda thing at some point, I'm sure — was ecstatic to be with his nephew.

I expected some petty, catiness from Mandy, but there was none to be found. She was all for practically moving in to my house with me while Duff went on tour with the guys, and we didn't have anymore qualms. Like I stated before, she was really good to my son, and that's all that I cared about by that point.

Tommy also stayed an exuberant amount of time (An entire month straight with no interruptions), and by day 21 I asked, "Does Heather not mind you not being at home even though you're in the same city?" To which he responded, "she's working, anyway, she's cool with it."

I didn't realize how awesome he was with kids. It made sense since he himself was like a giant child, but he loved every moment of time with the new little man in my life – even when he would get shit on or covered in throwup.

Sharise helped me out, majorly, recommending brands she had used and tried with Skylar that worked the best for her.

It wasn't a hard adjustment for me, I was used to not getting much sleep at night and cleaning up puke, and once Monroe got to be a toddler and went through a phase of not wanting to keep his clothes on, I realized just how much Motley Crue had prepared me for motherhood.

As for Nikki and I, he and the boys had started writing for Dr. Feelgood, and we had decided that once I had gone through the eight weeks of healing – thanks to Monroe for not wanting to just do what he was supposed to and forcing me to go through the fever dream that is caesarean delivery – every Saturday night was dedicated to a date night between the two of us. I thought it was a good plan and a great way to try to get back to how we were before had gotten married.

Except I completely forgot we were also screwing like rabbits before we got married, so our dates back then would always end happily and satisfied, whereas once we started dating again, he was so nervous he was scared to even touch my hand while I was used to him taking the lead and making all the first moves. So, whatever awkward dates I avoided in my teenage years had caught up with me in my mid-twenties through my own husband.

"Did you have a good day?" He asks me once we get into his car – the blacked out Mercedes I had told him not to get last year and he had gotten it anyway as a reward for sticking it out in rehab for the majority of the time he was supposed to.

"Yeah."

It's been decent, to say the least.

"I was gonna try to go down to my studio and see what all needed to be repaired and then go look at cars but Tommy absolutely forbade me." I add, looking at him. "He said I don't get to leave him since we haven't gotten to hangout much. So I didn't argue or tell him we'd've had more time to hangout over the years if he wouldn't have been so freaking insufferable from being loaded and lying to me all the time."

Nikki doesn't say anything, and I'm not sure if it's because he just doesn't have anything to say, or if he's trying not to get into all that.

I decide it's the latter, and offer up a, "sorry," still working on the skill of letting shit go – which believe it or not has become easier to do since I've had a kid.

As if everything that I saw as monumental before was just background noise compared to motherhood, now.

"So..." I start as we start down the street to get out of the neighborhood. "...Where are we going?"