The Three Worst Secrets

The One We Left Behind

"No."

Felix tightened his hand and Minho almost jumped out of his skin. He'd almost forgotten that he was even there, so focused on Seungmin it had momentarily left his mind.

"Seungie... you're scaring me."

"I'm sorry. Can you go?"

They were only a few steps from his bed, and still he hadn't looked over at them.

"Let me see you."

"Go away... now Min."

"Really?"

"I don't want you here. How many times do I have to say it before you understand?"

"I don't know." He felt the pain of his dismissal, but it burned beneath the fear. Why wasn't he looking at him? Why hadn't he reached out?

Felix now had his face pressed into his sleeve, so he missed it when Seungmin finally turned to face them. He only felt Minho tense up under his clothing.

"Oh Seungie..."

He had a black eye, and a dark, scabbed cut in the eyebrow right above it. His lips were so badly chapped that even the corners of his mouth were red and flaking with skin. His pallor was two shades too light, his hair stringy with oil.

"Don't, Min. I can't use it."

"What?"

"I can't use what you want to give me." He had been implying the sympathy that filled Minho's eyes, but unfortunately, the elder didn't hear it that way.

All he heard was that Seungmin did not need his love.

That he could not use it.

And his entire false confidence crashed around him.

Who was he kidding? He'd been nothing for his entire life- why would that change now? Just because the boy he loved had come and saved him in such a romantic way? Just because he'd convinced him once that he liked him? That he might like him still?

Why was he pressing the issue?

Seungmin had proven that he didn't care that much about him a few times over, and sweet words couldn't change the past.

Minho should get better at listening. At learning.

He fought a small internal battle- which he lost spectacularly. "You're wrong you know."

Seungmin pulled himself back at the tone of his voice.

"You do need love. Everyone does."

"What? That's not what I-"

"And I shouldn't even be worrying about you but I am. So come on. I'm cleaning you up, Lixie-loo is slathering a respectful amount of makeup on you and we are getting out of this house. At least for today."

"No. I don't want to go anywhere."

"No more yammering. We can argue in the car. Are you going to pick out your own clothes or should I do it for you?"

Seungmin's face crumpled for a moment before he could compose himself. "No I-"

"NOT asking Seungie. This is a non-negotiable type of deal. I'm sure you've had a few of those. You are getting out of this house if I have to drag you out. Would you like me to pick out some clothes?"

They hustled through the process, and Felix offered to drive since he seemed more aware than Seungmin did. When they reached the garage he refused to take the SUV. The sight of it had him turning grey and gripping tightly into Minho's arm.