Suffer. (Chris Brown Love Story) (PAUSED)

53.

I laid the phone down because I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"I get what you saying and I understand why you may feel that way. But I want you to know whatever happens between you and Chris I feel like he would be a great father and he respects you so its not like ya'll relationship is terrible"

I just listened to what she had to say but I didn't respond.

"You gotta keep a positive mindset mama"

"I feel you. Well imma let you go I'm about to eat and take a shower and get some rest"

"Alright, imma check on you later girly. Have a good night and don't stress yourself please!"

"Ok, goodnight"

The FaceTime hung up and I just tossed my phone somewhere. I wasn't about to do anything but sit here in my thoughts like I been doing most of the day. I been so sad lately, I don't have the energy that I had before, I just want to smoke but I can't. To stay out my thoughts I just force myself to sleep. But I know that stressing myself is harmful to the baby and I don't know if I want to just try another time in the future.

The whole situation just made me sad.

-

The next morning came quickly and I didn't know what I was doing today. My mom had cooked breakfast for me, I didn't feel like eating, but I forced myself for the baby. I sat down at the island and began eating while scrolling on social media. I laughed at a couple of videos I saw and catch up on what was happening in the world. As I continued to scroll I saw a couple of pictures of Chris at some club. The caption read 'Chris Brown spotted at a club in downtown LA with a mystery girl, sources said they have been together all night looking comfy👀'. I started to feel this funny feeling in my chest as I saw that it was the same girl. I clicked on the comments are started reading them.

| one thing about breezy is he's gonna move on

| wellll Ranae mess with the boy Omar so I guess this confirms the breakup lol

| all that howling to get ranae back just to be in another bitch face😴

I didn't know tears were coming down my face until I felt one drop on my hand.

"Honey, what's the matter?"

I locked my phone and quickly wiped my eye.

"Nothing ma... I'm just still sad about the breakup" I said continuing to eat.

She came to the counter and leaned against it.

"I know it hurts Ranae. I know baby, grieve for now but eventually, you have to choose to be happy again"

I nodded and looked at her.

"It look like you haven't gotten sleep baby, you look terrible"

"Thanks mom" I said kind of rolling my eyes.

"Are you depressed?"

"I don't know..."

"So what are you going to do? I refuse to see you like this. I mean when was the last time you went to the dance studio or did a show?"

I sighed. She was right. I really didn't care to do anything to help myself right now, all I want to do is lay down, rest, and sleep. But I cant think like that anymore especially with this seed inside of me. If something happen to it because of me i know i could never forgive myself.

"What if I leave?" I said to her.

"Meaning?"

"Leave California for a month or two until I feel better"

"You sure that's what you want?"

"Yes ma'am"

"I'm okay with anything you're okay with. Just don't go by yourself Ranae"

"...Okay ma"

"I'm serious Ranae, don't go alone. It's dangerous in this world I wouldn't want anything happening to you" she said in her very serious tone.

"Got it"

"I love you baby girl I only want what's best for you" She came around to give me a hug and I hugged her back.

Now I have to find someone to actually go with, this is some bullshit I have no idea who to go with.

-

After a long time thinking about who was able to come with me, I decided on someone, but I wasn't sure if they were able to for sure. Everybody nowadays is booked and busy so it was hard but my mother does not care.

I rang the doorbell two times and waited at the front door. About two minutes went by and the door opened.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Can we talk?"

He looked around outside and then let me in.

I walked to his kitchen and sat down and took my sunglasses off.

"Wassup? Everything okay?"

I want to ask you for a favor, I don't know how you will feel about it and you can say no I just wanted to know if you were up for it"

"Up for what?"

I didn't know where to start, but I had to be transparent as possible. I took a deep breath and began talking.

"Omar, I'm pregnant... and it's by Chris. Uh fuck.. I have to leave California for my sanity... I haven't been feeling my best, for the past month I wake up struggling to live every day. I want this baby but I can't forgive myself if I have another miscarriage. Um, I was wondering if you can come with me? Please. I don't want to go by myself and you are the only other person I know that I feel safe with. If you can of course, if not I understand" I said wiping my face.

"When do you plan on leaving?" He asked.

"Tomorrow night, a private jet will be waiting. Everything is paid for."

"Okay, I have to go handle some business. I'll meet you tomorrow at the jet"

"You sure? You do not have to come if you really don't want to-"

"I'll be there"

"Thank you" I stood up and gave him a hug.

He walked me to the door and with that I left. I honestly didn't know he would actually go and now I'm kind of second-guessing it but he was the only person available.

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