she, conrad fisher

10

he didn't look okay.

"everything okay?" i unsurely asked and he could only manage to nod.

it seemed like he was hiding from his family.

before i could say anything else, we faintly heard his front door unlock. i watched as conrad swiftly moved over to where i was. i was confused more than ever as to what was going on with him. conrad followed me through the narrow pathway to the backyard, which was lit up by the small string lights, poorly hung across the patio.

"you hung those up, didn't you?" he laughed a little, looking up at the oddly spaced and hung bulbs of lights.

"sorry i wanted my house to fit in with the others." i said defensively , messing around with him but the smile on his face didn't last long.

there was a bit of silence between us as we sat on the lawn chairs beside each other, facing the sea.

"what's going on with you?" i reluctantly brought up whatever he had pulled on the driveway.

conrad stayed quiet for a moment, like he was thinking about what to say to me.

"my dad called me." he looked down at his hands, picking at his thumb.

"oh." i wasn't quite sure how to respond, because frankly i didn't know anything about conrad's parents besides susannah.

"i hate him." conrad finally broke the silence lingering between us.

"what did he do?" i figured asking him and letting him vent could make him feel better.

"my mom used to have cancer." he seemed hesitant about the way he said it. "and he cheated on her while she was going through chemo. jere has no idea." his head hung low like he was embarrassed of his father's actions.

i was at a loss for words. i didn't know whether to think about susannah being a cancer survivor or conrad's father cheating during. instead i thought about how fucked up the situation was for conrad and susannah. what i couldn't wrap my head around was how anyone could possibly cheat on susannah, let alone during rounds of chemo. i hadn't realized how much conrad had been keeping to himself and something was telling me that this wasn't all of it.

"i don't even know what to say. how could he do that to your mom?" i stuttered. "what did he call you for?"

"he wants to come by some weekend. he just acts like he never did what he did." conrad's tone was quiet but angry.

"i don't really think he deserves that right to drop by when he wants ." i told him, looking over in hopes he would find some sort of comfort in my agreement.

it didn't seem like he did.

"yeah. well i guess he is planning on coming regardless." he shrugged, looking defeated.

"have you been bottling all this in this whole time?" i asked him, feeling awful looking back at the moments we would all hangout and he would be "off." i wished me or anyone else had known.

conrad didn't answer me. it was hard to see his face too and at that point i didn't know if i had said something wrong. i kept my mouth shut, knowing that saying anything else probably wouldn't help him at all. a few moments later, i heard the sound of him sniffling like had begun crying. he was sat next to me, finally reaching his breaking point.