The cold breeze kept us silent. It was a rare moment for us, because we usually didn't get along and rarely enjoyed each other's company.
I didn't expect anything less than awkward silence.
"I wonder where they are," I said, after a long while.
She didn't reply. She sat across from me and kept her eyes fixed on something I couldn't see, far away. Last night, Rhen had suffered a deep injury and was resting while the others looked for a safe camp. She didn't see me, hear me, or didn't care whatever I was going to do.
My gaze rested on her face to study her expression, out of nothing else to do. Her eyes were half closed, and slightly pouting, she seemed exhausted, lost in thought.
It felt oddly peaceful to be in silence with her. After all, we avoided each other when we could and bickered loudly when we couldn't. We hated each other from when we first met, which didn't change much during a long journey across worlds.
But Rhen had changed a lot since then. We both did. She was a much stronger person than I first made her out to be. Her bravery and rapid growth during the past few months had made me, albeit grudgingly, come to admit I was wrong, respect her power, and at times trust her to keep me alive.
At occasion, I swallowed subtle pangs of regret and embarrassment of having made a public laughingstock out of her in Veldarah, when she was powerless.
We have suffered numerous hardships and slights with death since, during the journey, that wouldn't compare to my little pranks, but those were still a year's worth of unchangable memories set in stone.
I dropped my gaze down to the dust on the ground.
Sunlight was turning scarce, and I watched thin shadows stretch across the ground beneath us.
Rhen sat on the cold flat rock against the hard wall on the other side of a small fire, and I sat beside our belongings on a dry log. It was a tiring trip that day. A few hours' hard rainfall earlier today had left almost no wood outside of this tiny shelter to let burn. Both our outer robes hung motionless on the log beside me to dry by the fire.
Cold wind blew close to the walls and Rhen let out a dry cough. I handed her a canteen of water and she acknowledged me for the first time in an hour. She took the canteen and opened the lid with radish-coloured hands before tilting it over her mouth.
Her fingers were startlingly cold when they brushed over mine to return the canteen.
I briefly wondered and realized that she would refuse me before taking off my left glove. I held it out to her, but it was difficult to look at her as I did so.
"Save it, Lars," she snapped, too proud to accept hospitality from me. "You don't have to worry about me."
"Don't be stupid, sword singer," I retorted, with a sigh. "Look, it's cold. I'm not doing this just to be nice to you." I felt an uncontrollable urge to bite back more, but Rhen looked away without a word, ignoring me. I broke off what I was going to say.
I walked across to her and clasped her left hand fingers. Compared to mine, her fingers were soft, but ice cold. I fitted the glove over Rhen's left hand, which barely filled half the glove. She pulled away from me, but didn't retaliate any more.
Our shelter grew dark. The fire crackled silent, leaving black logs and glowing embers in its wake.
I sat down on the rock beside Rhen and flickered a small magic fire alight on my fingertips.
Rhen lay against the wall and let out a slow breath. I felt a strong urge to know if she still hated me, deep down.
"Rhen."
She turned to look at me.
"Uh, well.. You see," I started, feeling short of breath. I could feel myself getting hot as I tried to force the words out. "I'm sorry.. for being a jerk."
Rhen's eyes, unmoving, half closed, flickered bright violet in the skimp light on my fingertips. She waited for me as I forced out the rest of my awkward apology.
"Back in Veldarah, when you were my.. slave. I know you hate me for it, and I should have apologized much earlier."
"Okay."
She replied almost instantly.
I let out a slow sigh, unable to look at her anymore. This was not the way I had wanted to say it, and though it was imperfect, she acknowledged it.
Looking down, my gaze tracked down her pale arm, sqeezed between us, and her cold, exposed right hand, clasped in a fist inside her other gloved hand. The cold temperature of the boulder made her shiver. I sat up and placed my hands over Rhen's to use healing magic. I could feel her examining my face, making me conscious.
"I don't forgive you, though," she said, eyes half closed. Her voice was quiet but defiant.
"I didn't expect you to." My voice came out louder than I felt.
She sniffed proudly, but didn't refuse my touch. Her hands were so soft, and her clothes were too thin.
I resisted the urge to touch her cheeks, which flickered red with cold against the dim light in the darkness. I could feel my own hands and cheeks turn hot, and I couldn't tell whether it was out of embarrassment because of my vulnerable apology, or because I couldn't stop staring at her cheeks wondering how soft they would be if I could touch them.
I looked away to find my canteen and used wind to bring it to Rhen. I pressed it to her lips, and she drank the rest of the liquid, quietly emptying what was left. She returned my gaze with an unreadable expression in her eyes. She was proud, and strong. She looked peaceful.
I pressed my hand against her cheek, examining her face and waiting for a response. Her cheeks were warm and red inside my fingers. Her lips were open.
She stared at me as I pulled myself quickly towards her and softly bit her lower lip.
Rhen sat up abruptly, pushed me away and angrily slapped me on the cheek. She was blushing furiously but looked incredulous.
I painfully got off the ground. I had to say anything.
"Don't forgive me. Just.. tell yourself that nothing ever happened. I won't mention it again."
I had to leave now. I messed everything up and was incredibly embarrassed. Before I left, I broke my side of the dry log and set it on fire before I walked a few steps away from the site.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
