I'll break you (Dottore X Fem Reader)

~ 12 ~

The only thing I could do was lean forward to the best of my ability, and pull him into my arms. His face was nuzzled into my neck as I stroked his hair tenderly. He had cute little curls at the base of neck that I fiddled with as he wrapped his arms lightly around my waist.

"None of that matters anymore. I'm here now and I'm awake and I'm alive and it's all thanks to you, Dottore. If you say that any of this was your fault one more time, I will personally burn your lab to cinders. Is that clear?" I whispered to him gently. It was me doing the threatening this time. Oh how the tables have turned.

I felt his lips smile against my neck and my heart fluttered at the thought that I'd made him grin. We stayed there for a few more minutes, me holding him dearly. I pulled back to check the expression he wore and his eyes looked less burdened. My hands were still wrapped around his neck comfortably.

I smiled at him softly. He was much too handsome for his own good. Golden sunlight streamed into the room from the many windows yet the glow around him was nothing compared to his attractive features.

"Don't ever do that again. Please," Dottore's voice cracked as he cupped my cheek. His thumb ran comforting circles over my skin.

What was this? I'd never seen such a side to him but it was beyond welcome. I could only watch in awe as his touch eased any hurt within me. The air around us was silent however, I felt as if his eyes were saying a million things at once.

My breath caught in my throat - which was probably dangerous with how close I was to death recently- but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore because Dottore closed the space between us and his lips were on mine and he was kissing me. His lips were just as soft as I predicted they'd be and he kissed me so gently with so much depth that my mind went blank.

All the words in the dictionary couldn't accurately describe the way I felt in this moment. His hand shifted till it was at the back of my head and tangled in my hair. I never wanted to move on from this moment.

We broke apart for air but if kissing him meant dying from lack of oxygen then I would gladly do it again and again. Dottore leaned forward again and placed a soft kiss on my bottom lip, then my top lip, and then the tip of my nose. My heart was soaring. The gesture was strange but so adorable. My eyes crinkled with amusement.

He pressed his forehead against mine and shut his eyes, inhaling a deep breath.

"I wanted to kiss you so badly when we danced," he whispered.

A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

"You should've," I whispered back.

Dottore smiled and opened his eyes. He stared into my eyes and for once in my life, I let him see all of me. All my vulnerabilities, all my happiness, sadness, loneliness. I felt my eyes tear up because now, the lid trapping my true self inside was flung off. All the times I shut it down tightly were unimportant now, because it flowed out with no barrier. Nothing could stop the tears.

I didn't know why I was crying. I think the most of it was joy of being alive and being here with him, but a small part of it was loneliness.

No one had ever touched me like he just did or cared about me enough to hold me like this. He was special and I hated myself for not acknowledging it earlier. I was in denial for such a long time because I just couldn't understand what I was feeling. Or rather, I was aware but I decided not to show it for fear of rejection and vulnerability. He was unraveling me piece by piece.

"No, don't cry my love. Shh," he said as he pulled me into his lap carefully and held my head against his chest. I placed my hand over his heart to make sure he was really here. "I know it was scary but I'm here now. I'll never let it happen again, ok?"