Finding Him

T H R E E

"My name is Ellie."

I bite my tongue just so I don't break down in sobs.

"Are you going to resist arrest, Ellie?"

I shake my head no, pressing my lips together so tight they turn white. "No, sir." I can't help the whimper than falls from my lips.

"Do you have any weapons on you?"

"No, sir."

"Follow me." I do. He opens the back door of his cop car. He tells me to slide in, telling me I can put my hands down. "Answer me honestly, Ellie. We're you the only one in that building?"

I suck back the tears and snot that keep falling. "Yes, I was." I lie.

We just needed a place to sleep overnight. We thought we wouldn't get caught.

The officer gives me a look. It makes me believe that he knows I'm lying. He doesn't say anything about it though. I'm glad.

He tells me that we're going back to the station and when we're there, he seats me in a chair. In an office. His, I believe.

"Do you have a number I can call?" He asks, typing on his computer.

"No."

"What are your parents' names?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know the town you live in?"

"I don't live in a town."

"Honey," he sighs, "Don't make this difficult. I'm sure your mom won't be too upset to catch you out this late at night. You seem like a nice little girl."

"I don't have a mom."

I tell him honestly. My mom is gone.

"Well, legally, I can't ask you any questions without a guardian present. So, please, kid. Tell me who is looking after you."

I lick my lips, debating if I'll get in more trouble telling him that I ran away or if I lie.

"No one." I meekly whisper.

I see a shift in the officer's eyes, an understanding. He's reading in between the thick, bolded lines. The truth that I'm homeless. That I'm lost. That I'm practically an orphan.

"Are you in trouble?" He asks, his full attention on me. "Who are you running from?"

"I want to find my papà." I tell him urgently. "The bad guys are hurting us."

The officer who I've yet to learn the name of walks closer to me. He bends to my height. "Do you know who the bad guys are?" His eyes are watching me closely and I don't like it.

"Nonna." I tell him. "And the man who killed John!" Maybe this officer can help me find my papà. Maybe he can figure it all out.

His eyes go wide. "Killed? When? How?"

"When—"

"I can take it from here."

I stop my words glancing back at the familiar voice. Officer Gills stands behind me, gazing to me with sorrowful eyes. I bite my lip hard.

"But—"

"No worries. I've been investigating Ellie's case for four years now." Gills let's him know. I slouch in the seat. Anger suddenly jabs at my chest. "Don't worry." Gills turns his attention down to me. "Come on, kid. Let's take you home. You've been gone for quite some time."

I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No."

I don't want to go. I don't want to go to another home and be alone. I want to be with my friends and have no rules. I want to be.. reckless.

"There's no arguing here. Come with me or your going to end up in a very dangerous situation here. I've tried very hard to get you placed in good foster homes, these people here won't care."

"I don't want another home!" I shout. "If I can't be with papà then I don't want any other home!"

"Ellie, I've told you before. I'm doing everything I can." I childishly turn my body away from him and stare at the wall. "Your DNA does not exist in any system we have. We don't know your last name and therefore, finding your dad is a lot harder than you may think it is."

Tears well up and into my eyes.

Eventually, after a thirty minute silent feud, I leave with Gills. He takes me back in his police car.

He looks at me through the rear view mirror.

"You know I try my best for you, kid." He tells me.

I knock my head against the car door and close my eyes. I think of papà, images of him flash through my mind quickly.

"We'll find him, one day."

I sniffle, licking my dry lips.

"Do you know what today is?"

I open my eyes, meeting his from the mirror. I shake my head no.

"It's your birthday, remember?"

It's already mid-December?

Hm. Time flies I guess.

"I'm sure we can find a dessert back at the station." I feel my chest rise and fall. "We can't pass up celebrating such a special day."

Images of blowing out candles and singing fill my mind like flashbacks in a movie.

"Happy tenth birthday, Ellie."

And although I should be happy on the celebratory day. I am just mad. Furious at the world. Angry for existing. Holding a grudge for fate.

For once in my life, I don't want to be quiet.

I want to get mad.

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