Give Me

Epilogue

Forgive and forget

I feel so dehydrated when I woke up. Nanginginig ang katawan ko sa lamig. At ramdam na ramdam ko ang sakit ng puso ko.

Hinalamusan ko ang mukha ng malamig na tubig at tinignan ang repleksyon sa salamin.

Unti-unti ay pumatak ang mga luha ko.

Everytime I see my face in the mirror I always questioning myself. I'm I not enough?. Kasi kung sapat ako hindi siya maghahanap ng iba, magiging kuntento siya.... sila.

"Bakit?." I whispered while crying hard. I place my hand in my stomach and gently caress it. "We need you David... we need you." I cried.

I force myself to calm because i know it will harm my baby. I already lose his father, and i can't bear to lose him too.

Sa mga sumunod na araw ay kahit alam kong hindi ko na kaya ay hindi ako sumusuko, i keep fighting for us.

Isang araw nasa mall ako at tumitingin ng gamit ni baby. Hindi pa ako bumibili dahil hindi ko pa alam kung anong gender niya. Napatingin ako sa dinasour na laruan. Lumakad ako papunta doon at hahawakan na sana iyon ng biglang may kamay na kumuha sa laruan.

I was stunned and shock because it's sudden. Tumingin ako sa lalaki. He look apologetic.

"I'm sorry miss." Aniya at sinuri ako. "Are you okay?." He ask.

I nodded and breathe deeply. "I am." I said and turn my back.

Biglang sumama ang pakiramdam ko sa sumunod na araw, mom was so worried, aniya ay dapat daw mag pa check up na ako. I know she's mad. Naalala ko kung paano niya basagin ang mga gamit namin sa bahay dahil sa galit niya kay David... at kay daddy.

Daddy is cheating and what worse the most? He have another child with another girl, ka same age ko lang. I was so damn furious to him. Puro nalang siya sorry! Lahat ba babalik sa sorry niya? Maayos ba ang lahat sa sorry niya?.

A sorry can't fix the damage, the scars left because of a wounded heart. Sorry is like a torture word, kaysa pagaanin nito ang loob mo ay lalo kang masasaktan.

I wipe the tears that flowing in my cheeks. I laugh bitterly, and I cry silently. Hindi.... Hindi ko na kaya.

Every night I'm listening to my mom cry and how she question her self for being not so enough to make my father loyal to her... to us.

And everyday I'm waiting for David comeback.

I will wait for him.

I know it's ridiculous, the person who cheated to you and have another child and you will still wait for him. I look pathetic i won't deny it, but when i enter a relationship with him i already ready myself to be burn... to be hurt.

I caress my stomach.

I know my baby's waiting for his daddy too.

But as the days past, days into month, he never comeback....

I was depressed, pinabayaan ko ang sarili ko, hinayaan ko lamunin ng sakit at galit ang puso ko. Hanggang matauhan ako.... Nung mawala na sa akin ang baby ko.