Finally Seeing You

Finally Seeing You

I laughed as my feet pounded against the sloppy earth, chest heaving with every few strides. I took in the scenery around me, the long stretch of sand and a choppy ocean, yet somehow it all look rough and tilted, as if it were a drawing.

"Oh, you're no fun! Tiring out already?"

A girl with long, golden hair and a wide smile to match mine, called over. She had slowed down and instead danced along the small waves that would barely wash up to our feet.

"No, no. I just think it's beautiful, you know? It's hard not to stop and look. Wow, the sun."

I watched the sun with a burning curiosity, not paying attention to it's same rough shape as the rest of the scenery. By now, the other girl and I had already waded out into the ocean a bit more to where it reached our bellybuttons.

 "Remember what they say Loganne, don't stare at the sun too long or you'll go blind."

The blonde girl taunted, sending a splash of water in my direction. I squinted at her as her body looked like static to me, fuzzy and not really there, something more like a reflection.

"Shut up, Michaela. That's some stupid old joke, it never happens. Careful not to go out so far, you'll get caught in the undertow."

I joked back and glanced back up at the sun, I couldn't help it. To me, the sun was amazing and one of the most unique things our world had to offer. Suddenly I was interrupted by a shrill scream; Michaela's scream.

"Help me, Loganne. Hel-"A wave washed over her, sucking the girl down and into the current before she came back up again a few feet away. "Loganne! I'm drow-" Michaela was pulled down by the current again. I could hear her arms thrashing, desperate for the surface.

"Michaela! Michaela!"

I was trying to move, but my body was stuck. It was if I had gone numb, or my brain had stopped responding. I was fixed to the spot, eyes locked at the sun. I could feel my eyes burning, my brain screaming at me to look away, but I couldn't. And then I was screaming too. I went from seeing everything, to seeing nothing.

"Michaela! Michaela!" But all I could see was darkness. And the only response I got were the waves crashing against each other, and nothing more.

- - - 

"Mich-" I sat up suddenly in my bed while beads of sweat slowly trickled down the sides of my face, the faded blue covers tangled in my legs as if it were really the ocean I was standing in.

"This one again, Loganne, really?" I muttered to myself, rubbing my face and pushing the old covers away from me, blinking my eyes a few time.

Outside was showing the early morning light, just getting bright enough to call it morning. The window was open but the small room had drapes from the ceiling to walls, enough to muffle whatever brightness even made it in. I stretched my arms back behind my head and scooted to sit on the edge of my bed, letting out a weary sigh. This was the routine every time I dreamed, a different way of me losing my eyesight and a different way of my old best friend dying. I laughed though, because none of them were right no matter how detailed or real they seemed.

"They'll pass darling, don't worry. It's just a stage of grief. There's five stages, you know." I mimicked my Gram's tone under my breath, pushing myself to my feet and making my way to the dresser.

As if I didn't know. Gram knew I wasn't one of those girls, the ones when something happened that I would shut myself in my room and cry for months, or go mute or something. I'd had too much happen in my life to shut it out. So I just accepted it.