Sinner's Place {h.s}

thirty-three.

Unlocking the classroom, I stepped inside and turned the lights on. My eyes scanned across the room as I walked towards my desk. Even being gone for a few days, it felt weird coming back. It had felt like I hadn't been here in so long. On the wall there was art that the substitute had put up that I could only guess was the student's drawings. It was the scribbly drawing that was a dead give away.

I pulled out the book that we used to do study lessons with and started to draw out some ideas for the next lesson. The substitute had done a wonderful job, they had went over three lessons since I was gone. Typically the students couldn't even sit through two of them. Maybe I needed to take some lessons from her, it would move everything on a lot more smoothly.

While I was picking out the lessons, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened. My hands gripped tightly around the book as I stood to my feet, walking towards the printer to start making copies for this coming week.

I had to stop thinking about it or it was going to drive me nuts. I knew that I was thinking too much. Nothing has happened yet—so why do I feel so on edge? It wasn't fair to me for letting it eat me alive. But that was my fault for always being the overthinker. If there was a award for the most overthinking person, I would win it with flying colors.

But that wasn't me anymore. Or at least, I tried for it not to be me. The way I talk, or walk, I'm different now. I wanna be able to take stride with confidence and not be scared.

I liked it in some ways. The old me would've never did what me and Harry did this morning. I was easing into him, and by the look in his eyes he was easing into me.

Isn't that funny?

Two traumatized people clinging onto another, trying to navigate this whole religious guilt thing together. In a way, we needed each other. We knew what it was like to be so afraid to be ourselves. We knew what it was like to let the guilt eat us until we were nothing but bones. We were just trying to be human.

"Hello?"

My body jumped at the sudden voice. I nearly giving myself whiplash as my neck turned so hard it could've snapped. The janitor stood there, his carrier clutched to him as he looked at me in confusion.

"What—"

"Can I clean in here? Didn't mean to scare you, I just needed to grab the trash from earlier." The janitor said with a soft chuckle, holding his hands up. I blinked hard, shaking my head as I let out a chuckle. I didn't realize how hard my fingers were gripping the copier machine.

"Of course," I croaked out, giving him a kind smile as I wiped at my jeans with sweaty palms. He nodded, and went to work. I turned back around, letting out a shaky breath as I started to gather all of my papers.

I heard from shuffling from behind me, my body stiffening. I kept comforting myself in my mind, telling myself that I was okay. Our janitor was nice, I never had problems with him and sometimes he brought the students candy on Fridays. I laughed to myself, placing a palm to my forehead softly.

I was just being paranoid. That's all it was. Nobody in the church really knew I was a teacher. There's no way that they would find me here. As far as I knew, Harry and Gracie were the only ones that knew. Giving my mother the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure she wouldn't try to sell me out to a bunch of Jesus worshipping freaks.

Relaxing my shoulders, I stuffed the papers under my arm and turned to go back towards my desk. Before I could react, I suddenly saw darkness. As if I had blacked out. I couldn't breathe. My hand reached out to grab my desk in front of me, my legs starting to wobble as I fought for air. My throat was constricting, and before I knew it I felt my knees hit the cold tile of the floor.