"Are You Still Addicted?" Book One (Addicted Fanfiction)

"Lost For Words."

  The day had gone by, it was a little after eleven pm, and Gu Hai was furious. Not only did Bai LuoYin not answer any of his text messages or calls, he never once called to say that he was okay or where he was! He had waited and waited in silence. Was he doing this to punish him in some way?
  Bai Han Qi and Aunt Zhou arrived home, saw that he was upset, asked a fewf questions, and they all became worried together.
  "Should we try calling him to see if he answers?" Aunt Zhou suggested. She sat across from Gu Hai at the kitchen table. She eyed the food that Gu Hai had made that morning. It was still sitting there, cold and untouched.
  Gu Hai clasped his hands together, tucked his thumbs under his chin and fell into a trace of deep thought. Where did he go?   Why was he so upset?
  Aunt Zhou dialed Bai LuoYin's number and he answered on the first ring. "Bai LuoYin! Where are you? Gu Hai is here and he is worried!"
  From the moment that Bai LuoYin answered Aunt Zhou's phone call, a dark aura covered Gu Hai's entire body. From head to toe, a vicious nature took hold of him. How dare he do this to me, he thought to himself. How dare he not answer my call.
  Aunt Zhou looked up at Gu Hai. She laughed nerviously and nodded, hung up, and said, "Bai LuoYin says that he will see you at home."
  Gu Hai stood and Bai Han Qi walked him to the front door. He put a hand on his son-in-law's shoulder and said, "My son, in marriage, it takes a lot of work, the correct words, compromise, and patience."
  Gu Hai thanked his father-in-law, Aunt Zhou, and headed home. When he arrived at home though, Bai LuoYin hadn't arrived yet.
  Throughout that day, as Bai LuoYin had walked the streets, his thoughts clouded his mind, an endless supply of doubts, questions, and confusion. At first, he went to a bar, but ended up not drinking anything from the way that he felt inside. He went into a few stores to look around and clear his mind and found that after spotting a cute baby outfit his mood had lifted a bit.
  But then came a negative thought. What if after the babies come he wants to control everything about them? This thought pissed him off and he left the small shop and walked some more. He ended up near a pond and sat down on a bench to watch the ducks. More thoughts came. What if Gu Hai never changes? Will he become unhappy because of it? Will it affect his bond with the children?
  Hours passed and the sun set. He had ignored all messages and calls from Gu Hai because he needed time to think. If he was around Gu Hai, he would surrender like he always did. Being by himself, he could think more clearly. He knew that this would drive Gu Hai insane, but he didn't care.
  He walked back to his father's house, got into his car, and drove home. It was time to have a conversation with the man he knew wouldn't listen. The question that popped into his mind after he pulled into their driveway and he walked up the path was, was he going to keep falling for Gu Hai's mind games?

  Gu Hai sat in the living room with the lights off. He heard the lock turn on the front door, heard when it was shut closed, and Bai LuoYin's footsteps approaching him. He turned his head to look at the wall in front of him. He wanted Bai LuoYin to know that he was highly upset.
  Bai LuoYin flicked the lights on in the living room. He knew that Gu Hai was there. It was a special gift that he had when it came to him. He would always know when Gu Hai was nearby. "We need to talk," he said.
  Gu Hai puffed his chest and folded his arms. He stared ahead, his expression saying nothing and everything all at once.
  Bai LuoYin noticed that he was still in his work clothes. A still crispy, white shirt, blue tie and blue dress pants. Had his husband showered at all? Had he eaten anything for that matter? He felt a little guilty because he knew that his actions would cause his husband to act this way. "I know you're upset," he said.
  Gu Hai stayed silent, folded his legs, and sighed, slowly.
  That silence worried him. At any moment, Gu Hai could do something dramatic or drastic. It was something unknown until it actually happened. "Gu Hai," he said, as if calling his name would activate the sane part of his brain, as if somehow hearing his voice would bring him to his senses.
  Gu Hai held himself back from exploding. His chest rose and fell in steady rhythms. He was doing his best not to yell at him. He gave himself brownie points for better self control. Sure, he didn't know what he had done wrong to get this treatment, but he tried to control his anger for being ignored all day. He had truly been worried about his well being and safety. And Bai LuoYin knew that if he wanted to he could have sent out the entire police force to find him that very day. His resources was never limited.
  "Gu Hai, you are too controlling! This type of behavior is too much!" Bai LuoYin said, his voice carried throughout the room and he was thankful. It carried weight and the way his voice bounced off of the walls, it also carried power. It seemed thunderous.
  Hearing those words, Gu Hai turned his head to look at him. The heat that came off of his body could have set the house on fire. He chose to answer with a very unfriendly, but slight, frown. No words, just the movement of his eyebrows.
  Bai LuoYin knew that he wasn't listening. Gu Hai always chose not to listen. If he wasn't getting his own way, he would shut down, stop listening, and he would try to mind fuck him. This instantly angered him. "I need you to listen to me!" he yelled, his voice growing a bit higher.
  Gu Hai blinked at him. His expression never cracked and he was aware now that his lover had become upset. "Why should I listen to you when you have ignored me all day? You answered Aunt Zhou's phone call, who only called you once," he said while putting up his pointing finger towards the ceiling. "I had called and texted you multiple times."
  "I needed time alone. I needed to think."
  "Do I stop you from thinking?"
  "No."
  "Then why do you need to go away from me to think?"
  "Gu Hai."
  "Bai LuoYin," Gu Hai said, his tone flat, without feeling.
  Bai LuoYin stared at his huband. He knew that this game would go on forever. Gu Hai would always win at this kind of thing.
"Is it always going to be like this?"
  Gu Hai's eyes locked onto Bai LuoYin's lips. The whole time that he watched his lips moved, he heard every word, felt every emotion, and understood what his lover was trying to say. The problem that Bai LuoYin had was that he never liked the role of being fully submissive. There were lots of times that Bai LuoYin tried to reverse the roles. It always failed because Bai LuoYin didn't allow himself to be fully dominated. They wrestled lots of times with one another, but it was always Gu Hai who won in the end. He didn't want to say anything because it would bring light to a problem that he never wanted to resolve. "I don't want it to be like this," he said and looked out the window.
  "Gu Hai, there will be times that I want to be alone. I need time alone. Time without you by my side."
  "We are married now, I will always be by your side. Aside from work, you have enough alone time."
  "If I go to my father's house without you, you follow me there. Why can't I see my father without you?"
  "Is he not my father also?" Gu Hai asked, unfolding his leg and sitting up straighter in his chair.
  "Yes, but, you know what I mean!" Bai LuoYin said. He knew that Gu Hai had turned on his wittiness. He had an answer for everything.
  "Gu Hai, please, give me some space."
  "Will you need space when the babies come?" Gu Hai stood up and placed both his hands behind his back. He frowned and was serious now. "How much space will you need then? Why do you need to be alone all of a sudden? We've been together for so many years now and you've never needed this much space. Why now?"
  "I've always wanted to tell you this but you've always made it difficult!" Bai LuoYin raised his voice. If they had had neighbors, they would have gotten a real good show tonight.
  "Should I leave? Do you want me to leave?" Gu Hai asked.
  "No! You're not listening! I don't want that! I want you to give me some alone time once in a while. Stop trying to control everything! It's too much!"
  "I don't try to control everything." Gu Hai said, keeping himself calm.
  "No?"
  "No, I don't." Gu Hai said, matter-of-factly.
  "I am naming the babies Adam and Eve," Bai LuoYin said, then waited for his husband's reaction.
  Gu Hai stared at Bai LuoYin. Their eyes locked and it was a battle of who would blink first. "Are you insane?" he asked.
  "Maybe I want to name them something foreign."
  "No." Gu Hai said, and in that one word, he sounded as if that was the end of the discussion.
  "Do you see what I mean? You always want to have the final say. You always get your own way."
  "No, I don't." Gu Hai said, then sat back down. He looked out the window and crossed his arms once more.
  "Okay, then, let me top you tonight." Bai LuoYin demanded.
  Gu Hai's neck snapped to look at his lover. Their eyes locked once more and his heart raced. There had been many times in the past when Bai LuoYin tried to top him, but he always fought him off, or tricked him into not doing it. In all the years that they've been together, not once had Bai LuoYin been the aggressor, the man in charge in the bedroom, the one who penetrated Gu Hai's virgin hole. "Bai LuoYin," he began to say.
  "No! Tonight, you will do as I say. If you don't, this will prove that you do not love me as much as you say you do!"
  Gu Hai was lost for words. This was the first time that his lover had gotten him. Was there a way out of this one? Could he save himself from Bai LuoYin putting it inside of him? He swallowed hard and thought, would it hurt? Would he bleed? Oh, no, would he be sore the next day? If he walked into work tomorrow with a strange walk, would Yan Ya Jing and the other women know that he was not a virgin back there anymore? He watched as a small smile grew on Bai LuoYin's face. Danger, his mind screamed, danger!
  Bai LuoYin was happy inside, but on the outside, he tried to show no emotion. He would do this, finally. Finally he would get to fuck Gu Hai. Let the games begin.